Oh woe is me

So I decided recently that I needed to be more active. I had started doing some cycling during the summer. Nothing too serious just a ride with a friend. We could talk and catch up while doing something active. Of course things got in the way and that ended. So I was talking with another friend and he suggested that we could go running in the mornings after I get off work. So I hemmed and hawwed for a while before deciding that I needed to do something as I wasn't going to be playing rugby this fall.

So a few weeks ago I went for my first run. My friend mapped out a 4.5 km route that we would take and I would work my way up towards the full distance. Well my first time I lasted 10 minutes before I had to stop. We walked for 3 minutes, ran for another 10 an then walked for another 3 to end the trip. Not too bad I thought. The next time I made it 11 minutes before stopping but after the walk my legs were cramping badly and I had to walk the rest of the way home. So we started cycling in the mornings following a 20km route which worked well but I knew that I didn't have to work anywhere near as hard to finish it as I did the running.

Running is hard work. At least for me. So in the end my inherent laziness got the better of me and I started coming up with excuses not to go running. I've now missed three opportunities in a row and am still mentally wrangling with myself over going in the morning. I'm almost hoping for rain so that I have a 'valid' excuse not to go. Of course I'm the one putting myself up to it so I can easily give up on the notion but every time I look in the mirror I can't help but think that I need to do something. I know what I need to do: diet and exercise. Its rather simple really. You watch what you eat and be active. Of course I don't do either, feel guilty because of it and then retreat into a bag of chips and several hours of playing my PS2. I feel like such a moron at times.

I guess in the end I just want it to be simple. I don't want to have to work for it. I wish I was one of those people who can 'eat anything and not gain a pound'. I'm not but seemingly refuse to adjust my lifestyle to deal with that very real fact. I've got to do it though, cause in the end the only person I'm hurting is myself and if I don't care who will? This isn't something that someone else can do for me, I have to do it. I know I have to do it. Mentally I want to do it. So why don't I just do it?

So now the question is will it rain, will I be lazy or will I actually do what I know I need to be doing this morning, running?