What to do? What to do?

Appologies up front, but this is something of a meandering post.

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I came across this on PostSecret tonight. I think its a great statement, one that we don't always feel to be true. If your not checking out the site, do so. It's updated each sunday night.

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I went to my sister's wedding reception this past weekend. Everything was good, I was having fun until my cousin began talking to me about my wedding and failed marriage. Great. Nothing like feeling depressed at a wedding. I prefer the word melancholy, I think it sounds better than depressed. The weird/sad thing that hit me was that in some ways I like feeling that way as I think it gives me a sense of gravitas. Of course I find feeling that way very isolating and insular which in turns makes one feel all the more melancholy. I think Roger Waters knew what he was talking about when he wrote The Wall. Melancholy shall be my word for the week.

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Apparently I'm a prick. I was told last week that people at work believe that I use large words with the specific intent of making myself seem smart while making other people feel dumb.

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Well the election is over and huzzah! the Conservative party won a minority government. I figured that a conservative minorty might not be a bad thing. Get some fresh legs and so on. I thought that in a lot of ways it wouldn't that big of a deal as they couldn't sign us on to North American Missle Defense, or pull us out of the Kyoto Accords nor could he get us into the quagmire that is Iraq without Parliamentry approval which the three opposition parties (mostly center or slightly left of center parties) would oppose. Now I'm a little worried that with the main opposition, the Liberal party, in a complete mess and looking for new leadership that they are not going to be willing to defend these issues for fear of losing more seats in another snap election.

Question: What will matter most to these people? What's good for Canada, it's citizens and its future or what's good for their party and their ability to regain power?

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Is it just me or is Iran starting to look rather scary? I mean their talking about missle defense, arguing that the holocaust never occured and that their going to develop nuclear weapons. What is it that they really want? What is it that they are truly seeking with this rhetoric and posture?

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I'm sorry, but this is pretty cool, where's Captain Nemo when you need him?

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Sorry again but I've got to give the plug for 24, which is in my opinion the best show on TV. I know that that may not be saying much considering much of the drivel that gets broadcast now-a-days but this is a good show.

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I found myself in what seemed like the strange predicament of defending the United States this past week in class. We were discussing the beloved novel Nineteen Eighty-four so it was obvious to discuss the dystopian setting and notions of Big Brother, but when they consistently pointed to the U.S. as being an example of Winson Smith's Airstrip One in the modern day I couldn't take it anymore. I may have my problems with some of the U.S.' foreign policy but to say that they are 1984 personified is absurd. Now if you want to talk about North Korea ...

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An article like this is another good reason to read the news. I wonder if this Paul Weyrich person understands the reason that many Canadians fear U.S. conservatives such as himself. If he thinks that we are too far to the left, then what would his right look like?

I was struck twice and a thought

I'm presently taking a Utopian fiction course in university for which I read Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. I wanted to share a scene and image which really stuck with me.

"That evening the swarm of helicopters that came buzzing across the Hog's Back was a dark cloud ten kilometres long. The description of last night's orgy of atonement had been in all the papers.

'Savage!' called the first arrivals, as they alighted from their machine. 'Mr. Savage!'

There was no answer.

The door of the lighthouse was ajar. They pushed it open and walked into a shuttered twilight. Through an archway on the further side of the room they could see the bottom of the staircase that led up to the higher floors. Just under the crown of the arch dangled a pair of feet.

'Mr. Savage!'

Slowly, slowly, slowly, like two unhurried compass needles, the feet turned towards the right; north, north-east, east, south-east, south, south-south-west; then paused, and after a few seconds, turned as unhurriedly back towards the left. South-south-west, south, south-east, east ..."

I find the imagery amazing and its depth unending. If you have never read this book please do so.

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I'm presently reading George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-four for class. I had read this about 8 or 9 years ago and had been impacted by the work as so many others have throughout the years. I came across the following the other day which sort of echoed to me my first blog entry. Of course this is done with extreme talent and I think has a haunting impact.

"He was a lonely ghost uttering a truth that nobody would ever hear. But so long as he uttered it, in some obscure way the continuity was not broken. It was not by making yourself heard but by staying sane that you carried on the human heritage."

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I was recently asked by a younger co-worker who they should vote for. They said that they had no idea what the different parties stood for or what the main issues of this election were. I encouraged them, like I do everyone, to vote their conscience as that is how democracy works best. However, I couldn't help but talk about the notions of 'strategic voting' which is a reality here in Canada. With so many parties running the simple A or B voting patterns get thrown out the window.

In my humble (at the very least I would project it as such) opinion it is time for electoral reform here in Canada. We currently live under what is called a 'first past the post' system which in reality rewards parties with majority governments while getting a minority of the votes. I understand that this has been an evolving system and one that we inherited from our forefathers in England but it is now time that democratic notions rose to the fore and reform occured.

I would propose a 'proportional representation' system. Over the last century as literacy rates increased, education levels increased and the average citizens access to political information has increased many of the 'safe guards' inherent in the system are now antiquated. It is time that the people's voice is truly heard as it is voiced. According to the latest polls, support for the main federal parties is as follows ...

Conservative party - 37%
Liberal party - 30%
NDP - 18%
Bloc Quebecois - 10%
Green party - 4%

This could end in two ways if the poll numbers are the same as election results. First it could provide a Conservative majority government or a Conservative minority. But as the bottom three parties support remains fairly constant the number of seats that they will receive in the upcoming parliament will most likely remain about the same, as follows ...

Bloc - 54 seats (17.5% of the seats with 12.4% of the votes)
NDP - 19 seats (6.2% of the seats with 15.7% of the votes)
Green - 0 seates (0% of the seats with 4.3% of the votes)
Liberals - 135 seats (43.8% of the seats with 36.7% of the votes)
Conservatives - 99 seates (32.1% of the seats with 29.6% of the votes)

Now the Liberal and Conservative numbers have flipped since the 2004 election which could simply provide a similar parliament except the Liberals and Conservatives would flip their number of seats. Of course in 2000 the Liberals won 172 seats on 40.8% of the vote, a majority government.

As you can see the popular support for a party does not equate to their parliamentry power. The NDP had greater support but less power than the Bloc, for instance. Under a proportional representation model the next parliament would break down as follows if todays poll numbers were election results.

Conservative - 114 seats
Liberal - 93 seats
NDP - 56 seats
Bloc - 32 seats
Green - 13 seats

Now obviously this would result in a minority government nearly every time unless one party gained the majority of the popular vote. But isn't that what democracy is about? This system ensures that the people's voice is heard as it is uttered. Of course it would require that the parties work together more closely than they do now under their partisan banners. It would also require an improved relationship between the provinces and the federal government as local governmental representation would be done through the provinces as opposed to both federally and provincially. It would also help to end this notion of strategic voting which skews support and power in the country.

I would also add a stipulation. The party with the most seats elects the Prime Minister, the party with the second most seats would elect the deputy Prime Minister and when their cabinet is appointed the proportional reprsentation model must be upheld as well. For instance, currently there are 42 cabinet positions, where 1 is held by the PM and 1 is held by the dPM. So with 40 positions each party would hold the following number of positions ...

Conservative - 15
Liberal - 12
NDP - 7
Bloc - 4
Green - 2

This woudl ensure that the parties work together to get things done and that each party has a voice at the table as that is what Canadians want. In reality isn't this supposed to be about serving Canadians rather than maintaining or gaining power? If a traditionally powerful party refuses to relinquish seats in an effort to ensure better democracy, what does it say about them?

A time to share ...

The Grand Canyon looking west

The Grand Canyon looking north

The Grand Canyon looking east

The Grand Canyon

The Grand Canyon

Paris from Caesars Palace

David

The foyer of the Forum Shoppes

The Arche de Triomphe

Paris

The Luxor hotel

The Excalibur hotel

New York, New York

Outside the Monte Carlo

The Strip looking south from Caesars Palace

Nike outside Caesars Palace

Fountain outside the Forum Shoppes

More

I'm experiencing a strange feeling. I can't really explain it but I can't shake it either. Its sort of like an itch that I can't reach. Except this one is in my mind, my heart, my spirit. Ever since returning from my trip to Vegas I can't shake this feeling that I'm missing something, that there is something more in life that I need. Something meaningful, something exciting, something other than the continuous boredom that my life has become.

Where does one find this?

Where do I find this?

It feels like a growing swirling pit beneath my mind.

It feels like an unsated hunger gnawing at my soul.

It's like I've awoken some beast within myself that till now had been kept dormant by my willingness to settle. The beast is awake, it prowls, it howls, it claws, it hungers.

Year end and such things

Happy New Year. I'm not too sure why but its one says at this time of year. I've never been all that partial to new year's looking upon it as just another day. People would say that is because I was unpopular and never got invited to parties. In the end it is just another day.

Well, I've been blogging for little more than one year now. I began this meandering adventure blindly in December of 2004 and now find myself 56 posts later in January of 2006. I think I've done well so far with my blog (count wise), averaging a post a week. Not too bad.

I hope that everyone had a good holiday in whichever manner they chose to spend it. I did so with family and a trip to Las Vegas for my younger sister's wedding. Here are some musing from the trip ...

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We flew into Vegas on a bright sunny morning from the southeast. That was my first glimpse of the Grand Canyon. The pilot banked the plane north and as I looked out the window I was looking directly down into its gaping maw. It was huge. It was inspiring.

I spent the fourth day of my trip driving out to see the Grand Canyon. I got a lot of pictures which I will share a later time. Seeing the GC first hand was amazing. It is so vast and old. I couldn't help but think of Indians who had witnessed it for millenia or of the first European settlers to encounter it. What they must have thought. It made me feel small, not in size but in spirit.

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On my second day in Vegas I spent a few hours during the afternoon walking the strip and taking pictures of the different hotels and attractions. I was struck by two seperate incidents. The first was outside the Luxor hotel. A family was walking north along the strip. A mother and father walking and talking, their daughters hand in her fathers. Their young son, maybe 8 or 9 years old was walking a few paces behind. As the family was coming to a corner there were some newspaper boxes on the edge of the sidewalk advertising strippers and prostitutes. The parents pay these boxes no mind but the boy slows and looks at them with a weird and puzzled expression. I can only imagine what he was thinking.

A few minutes later I was outside the MGM Grand as a mother and her young daughter were walking south. The young girl, maybe 4 or 5 was dancing down the street hand in hand with her mother. All the while her feet trampled upon the discarded stripper ad cards that were strewn across the sidewalk. It was a weird moment watching one so innocent trampling upon those who had lost theirs. I told my friend about this and he commented upon its poetic imagery. I agree, I only wish I were a poet.

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I smoked hash for the first time. The groom's younger sister and I ended up spending the nights taking in the Vegas night life together. I had a lot of fun. The hash was good. I think I'd like to try it again.

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I made a point of watching the fountain display in front of the Bellagio hotel while I was there. The songs which they are synced to changes from time to time, on this day the second song was Time to Say Goodbye by Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli. The music captured me and made the moment magical. It was a beautiful, personal moment.

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I'm currently reading the book Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond. I'm only about a quarter of the way through but I was reading this particular passage concerning hunter gatherer societies and their transition towards farming societies when I happened to look out the plane window and see some unknown American city aglow in the night. I found it striking, this encounter with the primitive and modern at the same moment.

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I came home and somehow the mundaneness of my life seemed very acute. I was only away for five days but it has seemingly thrown my daily existence into stark contrast. I fear and crave change, something to shake up this boring drudgery that is my life. I've been on vacations before, Florida, Jamaica, Chicago but none of those affected me this way.

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I stood up for my sister at her wedding. I found it amazing how many people would automatically ask if Elvis was involved when I would tell them my sister was getting married in Vegas. They got married at the Tropicana on a beautiful evening. It was nice and intimate. All told there was ten of there to witness their ceremony. It was clear that they loved each other.

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I hate the waiting.