Boring lives suck.
You wait all week to get a couple days off from work and your boring ass life dictates that you do jack shit with your time. If I had worked at least I would have had something to do.
Well I finally bit the bullet and got around to smoking some dope on the weekend.
I got together with a friend and got it all planned out. We'll rent some movies, buy some pizza and smoke some dope.
So my friend and I start watching 'Harold and Kumar ...' and light up our first joint. He takes all of 4 drags and claims to be pleasantly high. I finish the joint off and feel nothing.
I smoke a second joint, still nothing.
Third. Nothing.
Fourth. Nothing.
What am I? Some kind of mutant who can't get high. I wait this long to finally try it and after smoking 4 joints I still feel nothing.
At least the movies wern't half bad. We watched the aforementioned 'Harold ...' as well as a movie called 'Casual Fridays' which is a bunch of clips from incredibly horrible tv spliced together to form 90 minutes of hilarity. We also watched 'Appleseed' which was a rather interesting anime film.
Can't wait till next weekend. Maybe I'll just get shit-faced drunk and pass out in a gutter somewhere. That'd be an interesting story.
Wouldn't it?
Monday, May 30, 2005
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Constructions
Recently I've been trying to wrap my head around the notions of human constructions. Now I'm not talking about roads and bridges or buildings and dams but rather the systems that humanity has created for ourselves to operate within. Examples would include capitalism, democracy, nation states, money, etc.
When I sit back and look at it - them, it - they seem so concrete, so permanent, so daunting, so consuming. Its not until I take a moment or two and really think about the issue that I am able to overcome the societal imprinting upon my mind that says that these things are unchangeable and perfect systems. They simply are not permanent nor unchangeable so why do we treat them as such?
John Lennon in his famous song 'Imagine' invited us to imagine a world without possesions or countries. What would it look like? What would it be like? John didn't think we would be able to because we were so caught up in the now, the 'breads and circuses' of life that we wouldn't be able to truly consider and conceptualize a world without these human constructions. Can you conceive of a world in which there were no countries? Can you imagine a world where there was no money?
These things are created by man in an effort to allow human beings to interact with one another in a ordered and coherent system. When I begin to look at these things and try to conceive of a world without money and countries I tend to construct soceities that are united and seemingly harmonious. Of course this mental frolicking is simpy a hypothesis and perhaps tends towards the utopian but I try to be honest as well.
What does money do for us? The simple answer is that it allows us to buy things. Of course this relient upon the notions of materialism and consumerism which says that we have to buy things, most of which is completely and utterly unnecessary. What about food and shelter? The neccessities of life, we have to buy those as well don't we? Given our condensed urban culture this is true for a great many people but we don't HAVE to buy these things. We can grow and catch food. We can build shelters using the resources inherent in the environment. Human beings have been doing it for millenia. So what does money do for us? It divides us.
Money serves to elevate one segment of the population while degrading another. We have created a system with the 'haves and have nots'. A system where we are to 'keep up with the Jones'. We are constantly bombarded with the notion that we must buy, we must consume, we need the latest piece of frivolous crap, we need the current unnecessary fad. We are told that those with money are better than those without. We idolize the rich and scourn the poor. The system we call money feeds a system we call capitalism which feeds the inherent degredation of mankind.
We have created other systems to prop up and take advantage of these two systems. Today we allow those with more money to have better health care, to drink cleaner water, to breathe cleaner air. Those with money are granted greater protection. All because they have more of what we call money. Are they better human beings? Does the fact that they have 'money' make them a genuinely better person than the person without? Does this fact mean that they deserve to live longer, healthier, happier lives simply because they have more 'money'? The answers to these questions are interesting and important. At the heart of them lies your conceptions of human value and which is more important human life or money.
What do countries do for us? Of course they allow us to express our uniqueness while protecting us from the uniqueness of others. Canadians are different than Romanians just as Germans are different than Koreans. Thats true right? We are inherently different and therefore need these human conceptions of segregation, right? Of course with countries we give rise to patriotism which gives rise to fanaticism in certain instances. In the name of countries we are willing to do such horrible things that we would never conceive of if we were talking about neighborhoods. We grant out countries the power to do what is 'necessary' to insure our prosperity and safety even if it comes at the cost of the lives of others. Like money, contries are a system of human interaction which we use to elevate some and degrade others all the while using them to dehumanize those who are different.
I guess the trick in all of this is trying to identify the effects of these human constructs and then imagining a world that either negates or enhances those effects we deem negative or positive. To me the systems of money and countries serve to seperate and dehumanize mankind. As such when I try to conceptualize of a world without these systems I envision a world where humans are free to live in harmony without human constructs to tell me that I am better or worse than anyone else or that I have a right to steal from this group in the name of mine.
Human beings are communal creatures and as such will always come together to form communities. In doing so systems will be created to not only help us interact with one another but also with other groups. Of course what is truly important in all of this is that we realize that these things are HUMAN CONSTRUCTS and as such can be changed by human beings. Capitalism, the nation state and democracies are not creative autonomous entities in and of themselves, they are tools and systems created and used by mankind to facilitate interaction. Because they are ours by creation they are ours to change and modify or to ultimately end. Mankind is the master of these systems not their subjects.
When I sit back and look at it - them, it - they seem so concrete, so permanent, so daunting, so consuming. Its not until I take a moment or two and really think about the issue that I am able to overcome the societal imprinting upon my mind that says that these things are unchangeable and perfect systems. They simply are not permanent nor unchangeable so why do we treat them as such?
John Lennon in his famous song 'Imagine' invited us to imagine a world without possesions or countries. What would it look like? What would it be like? John didn't think we would be able to because we were so caught up in the now, the 'breads and circuses' of life that we wouldn't be able to truly consider and conceptualize a world without these human constructions. Can you conceive of a world in which there were no countries? Can you imagine a world where there was no money?
These things are created by man in an effort to allow human beings to interact with one another in a ordered and coherent system. When I begin to look at these things and try to conceive of a world without money and countries I tend to construct soceities that are united and seemingly harmonious. Of course this mental frolicking is simpy a hypothesis and perhaps tends towards the utopian but I try to be honest as well.
What does money do for us? The simple answer is that it allows us to buy things. Of course this relient upon the notions of materialism and consumerism which says that we have to buy things, most of which is completely and utterly unnecessary. What about food and shelter? The neccessities of life, we have to buy those as well don't we? Given our condensed urban culture this is true for a great many people but we don't HAVE to buy these things. We can grow and catch food. We can build shelters using the resources inherent in the environment. Human beings have been doing it for millenia. So what does money do for us? It divides us.
Money serves to elevate one segment of the population while degrading another. We have created a system with the 'haves and have nots'. A system where we are to 'keep up with the Jones'. We are constantly bombarded with the notion that we must buy, we must consume, we need the latest piece of frivolous crap, we need the current unnecessary fad. We are told that those with money are better than those without. We idolize the rich and scourn the poor. The system we call money feeds a system we call capitalism which feeds the inherent degredation of mankind.
We have created other systems to prop up and take advantage of these two systems. Today we allow those with more money to have better health care, to drink cleaner water, to breathe cleaner air. Those with money are granted greater protection. All because they have more of what we call money. Are they better human beings? Does the fact that they have 'money' make them a genuinely better person than the person without? Does this fact mean that they deserve to live longer, healthier, happier lives simply because they have more 'money'? The answers to these questions are interesting and important. At the heart of them lies your conceptions of human value and which is more important human life or money.
What do countries do for us? Of course they allow us to express our uniqueness while protecting us from the uniqueness of others. Canadians are different than Romanians just as Germans are different than Koreans. Thats true right? We are inherently different and therefore need these human conceptions of segregation, right? Of course with countries we give rise to patriotism which gives rise to fanaticism in certain instances. In the name of countries we are willing to do such horrible things that we would never conceive of if we were talking about neighborhoods. We grant out countries the power to do what is 'necessary' to insure our prosperity and safety even if it comes at the cost of the lives of others. Like money, contries are a system of human interaction which we use to elevate some and degrade others all the while using them to dehumanize those who are different.
I guess the trick in all of this is trying to identify the effects of these human constructs and then imagining a world that either negates or enhances those effects we deem negative or positive. To me the systems of money and countries serve to seperate and dehumanize mankind. As such when I try to conceptualize of a world without these systems I envision a world where humans are free to live in harmony without human constructs to tell me that I am better or worse than anyone else or that I have a right to steal from this group in the name of mine.
Human beings are communal creatures and as such will always come together to form communities. In doing so systems will be created to not only help us interact with one another but also with other groups. Of course what is truly important in all of this is that we realize that these things are HUMAN CONSTRUCTS and as such can be changed by human beings. Capitalism, the nation state and democracies are not creative autonomous entities in and of themselves, they are tools and systems created and used by mankind to facilitate interaction. Because they are ours by creation they are ours to change and modify or to ultimately end. Mankind is the master of these systems not their subjects.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
I even stole the title.
I enjoy reading a friend’s blog. She is always coming up with (or stealing as the case may be) interesting little ways of sharing herself with others. I figured I’d take a page out of her book and steal something from her. Besides politics gets boring every now and again right?
BECAUSE I LACK ANY AND ALL ORIGINALITY
1) My friend once: seduced a young girl while in a position of power and then continually lied to me about it so that I would support him. It destroyed my relationship with the girl and her family.
2) Never in my life: have I fit in.
3) When I was five: it was 1978 and Karol Wojtyła became Pope John Paul II.
4) High School was: a time in my life that I would rather not think about.
5) I will never forget: my wedding day.
6) I have met: a number of professional athletes but no one of any real importance.
7) There's this girl I know who: cannot conceive of a reason why she should care about herself.
8.) Once, at a bar: I had sex.
9) By noon I'm usually: sleeping.
10) Last night: I worked.
11) If I only had: a stronger sense of self worth.
12) Next time I go to church: will be Sunday and I hope to take Communion.
13) Next time I go grocery shopping: I’ll most likely buy at least one thing that I know I shouldn’t but for some reason can’t stop myself from buying anyways.
14) What worries me most: is that I will feel this alone until I die.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: the red light of a traffic light reflecting of the wet pavement.
16) When I turn my head right, I see: Cyrillic writing.
17) You know I'm lying when: to be honest I don’t know what gives me away when I lie. I lie quite a bit and as such it seemingly second nature.
18.) What I miss most about the Eighties: the lack of responsibilities.
19) If I were a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: Ariel.
20) By this time next year: I will still be in debt, still working and still in school.
21) A better name for me would be: Ash.
22) I have a hard time understanding: evolutionary theory.
23) If I ever go back to school I'll take: courses in politics.
24) You know I like you if: you probably wont.
25) If I won an award: I’d most likely not show up to receive it. I did this just last year.
26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: have all done at least one thing that I have done and at least one thing that I haven’t done.
27) Take my advice; never: look directly at the sun through a telescope.
28.) My ideal breakfast is: a toasted western with home fries and orange juice.
29. A song I love and do not have is: I can’t think of one.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you spend some time at the beach.
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: are things so disparate as to have no bearing on the other.
32) Why won't anyone: stop the killing in Darfur?
33) If you spend the night at my house, don't be afraid to: bring beer.
34) I'd stop my wedding for: a medical emergency.
35) The world could do without: money. Think about it.
36) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: than its ass.
37) My favorite blonde is: Marilyn Monroe.
38.) Paper clips are more useful than: snot.
39) If I do anything well, it's: level judgements at others.
40) And by the way: its now 2am.
41) The last time I was drunk, was: April 2, 2005 and there are a number of blank spots in my memory of the night.
BECAUSE I LACK ANY AND ALL ORIGINALITY
1) My friend once: seduced a young girl while in a position of power and then continually lied to me about it so that I would support him. It destroyed my relationship with the girl and her family.
2) Never in my life: have I fit in.
3) When I was five: it was 1978 and Karol Wojtyła became Pope John Paul II.
4) High School was: a time in my life that I would rather not think about.
5) I will never forget: my wedding day.
6) I have met: a number of professional athletes but no one of any real importance.
7) There's this girl I know who: cannot conceive of a reason why she should care about herself.
8.) Once, at a bar: I had sex.
9) By noon I'm usually: sleeping.
10) Last night: I worked.
11) If I only had: a stronger sense of self worth.
12) Next time I go to church: will be Sunday and I hope to take Communion.
13) Next time I go grocery shopping: I’ll most likely buy at least one thing that I know I shouldn’t but for some reason can’t stop myself from buying anyways.
14) What worries me most: is that I will feel this alone until I die.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: the red light of a traffic light reflecting of the wet pavement.
16) When I turn my head right, I see: Cyrillic writing.
17) You know I'm lying when: to be honest I don’t know what gives me away when I lie. I lie quite a bit and as such it seemingly second nature.
18.) What I miss most about the Eighties: the lack of responsibilities.
19) If I were a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: Ariel.
20) By this time next year: I will still be in debt, still working and still in school.
21) A better name for me would be: Ash.
22) I have a hard time understanding: evolutionary theory.
23) If I ever go back to school I'll take: courses in politics.
24) You know I like you if: you probably wont.
25) If I won an award: I’d most likely not show up to receive it. I did this just last year.
26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: have all done at least one thing that I have done and at least one thing that I haven’t done.
27) Take my advice; never: look directly at the sun through a telescope.
28.) My ideal breakfast is: a toasted western with home fries and orange juice.
29. A song I love and do not have is: I can’t think of one.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you spend some time at the beach.
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: are things so disparate as to have no bearing on the other.
32) Why won't anyone: stop the killing in Darfur?
33) If you spend the night at my house, don't be afraid to: bring beer.
34) I'd stop my wedding for: a medical emergency.
35) The world could do without: money. Think about it.
36) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: than its ass.
37) My favorite blonde is: Marilyn Monroe.
38.) Paper clips are more useful than: snot.
39) If I do anything well, it's: level judgements at others.
40) And by the way: its now 2am.
41) The last time I was drunk, was: April 2, 2005 and there are a number of blank spots in my memory of the night.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Optimism
I want feel optimistic about something. Anything will do I guess. Something to distract me from the near continuous negative thoughts that run through my head.
Have you ever listened to your inner dialogue? I've partially paid attention to it in the past but have been trying to focus on it more and more lately; trying to discern how I treat myself. It turns out I don't like me. I have learned that I am verbally (mentally) abusive towards myself which seems to feed the negative self image and self loathing. Its horribly cyclical. How does one stop it?
I was discussing politics with a coworker the other day and had something of an epiphany. We were discussing the compatibility of libertarianism and its compatibility with Christianity when I finally realized a key part of the golden rule. In the Bible Jesus is asked what it takes to get to heaven, he replies by asking what does the law say. Jesus then says that we are to love God with our all heart, mind and strength and to love our neighbours as ourselves. That these two commands sum up the entirety of the levitical law (and it is rather lengthy in case you've never had a reason to read Leviticus or Deuteronomy).
Besides coming from the Bible, we hear of the 'golden rule' from early childhood. We are to treat others the way that we want to be treated. But Jesus (and seeing as how I am a Christian I tend to give what He has to say some weight) says that we are to LOVE our neighbours. The Apostle Paul says at the end of his famous 'love' chapter in his letter to the Corinthians that "now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." Considering the esteem that faith is given throughout the Bible and especially in Hebrews 11 (the faith chapter) to say that love is the greatest thing is saying something. To say that we are to love our neighbours as ourselves is saying something more.
Whenever I have discussed this idea with other people invariably we look at two key points to the command: who are our neighbours and what is love. On neighbours we usually end up agreeing that in essence a neighbour is anyone in which we come in contact with. It doesn't have some spacial limitation to who lives beside us or in our neighbourhood. But rather it encompasses the notion that every human being is my neighbour. On love one doesn't have to look far to discern what the Bible has to say about love. As I mentioned above the Apostle Paul gives a rather detailed description of love in his letter to the Corinthians. In it Paul says that love is patient and kind, that it is not easily angered and doesn't keep track of our wrongdoings. He says that love is not rude or self-seeking, that it does not envy, boast nor is it proud. Love rejoices in the truth not in evil. Love always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. He also says that love never fails.
It seems rather elementary and clear. Love your neighbours. However what I never paid any attention to before the other day (hence my epiphany) was the other part of the command. We are to love our neighbours as we love OURSELF. It would seem that how we love ourselves or perhaps our ability to love ourselves has some bearing on how well we can love others. As such I have been trying to discern how well I love myself. Apparently not very well. When I look at the list of attibutes which love is to possess and compare that with how I treat myself it doesn't look very good. So I guess I need to make some changes.
Hence my desire for optimism. Spring is here but its cold out (for spring). There are no hockey playoffs happening and I haven't won a few million dollars recently either. So if anyone out there has something that they can share with me that can distract me (even if only for a little while) from all of my negativity, I'm all ears.
Have you ever listened to your inner dialogue? I've partially paid attention to it in the past but have been trying to focus on it more and more lately; trying to discern how I treat myself. It turns out I don't like me. I have learned that I am verbally (mentally) abusive towards myself which seems to feed the negative self image and self loathing. Its horribly cyclical. How does one stop it?
I was discussing politics with a coworker the other day and had something of an epiphany. We were discussing the compatibility of libertarianism and its compatibility with Christianity when I finally realized a key part of the golden rule. In the Bible Jesus is asked what it takes to get to heaven, he replies by asking what does the law say. Jesus then says that we are to love God with our all heart, mind and strength and to love our neighbours as ourselves. That these two commands sum up the entirety of the levitical law (and it is rather lengthy in case you've never had a reason to read Leviticus or Deuteronomy).
Besides coming from the Bible, we hear of the 'golden rule' from early childhood. We are to treat others the way that we want to be treated. But Jesus (and seeing as how I am a Christian I tend to give what He has to say some weight) says that we are to LOVE our neighbours. The Apostle Paul says at the end of his famous 'love' chapter in his letter to the Corinthians that "now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." Considering the esteem that faith is given throughout the Bible and especially in Hebrews 11 (the faith chapter) to say that love is the greatest thing is saying something. To say that we are to love our neighbours as ourselves is saying something more.
Whenever I have discussed this idea with other people invariably we look at two key points to the command: who are our neighbours and what is love. On neighbours we usually end up agreeing that in essence a neighbour is anyone in which we come in contact with. It doesn't have some spacial limitation to who lives beside us or in our neighbourhood. But rather it encompasses the notion that every human being is my neighbour. On love one doesn't have to look far to discern what the Bible has to say about love. As I mentioned above the Apostle Paul gives a rather detailed description of love in his letter to the Corinthians. In it Paul says that love is patient and kind, that it is not easily angered and doesn't keep track of our wrongdoings. He says that love is not rude or self-seeking, that it does not envy, boast nor is it proud. Love rejoices in the truth not in evil. Love always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. He also says that love never fails.
It seems rather elementary and clear. Love your neighbours. However what I never paid any attention to before the other day (hence my epiphany) was the other part of the command. We are to love our neighbours as we love OURSELF. It would seem that how we love ourselves or perhaps our ability to love ourselves has some bearing on how well we can love others. As such I have been trying to discern how well I love myself. Apparently not very well. When I look at the list of attibutes which love is to possess and compare that with how I treat myself it doesn't look very good. So I guess I need to make some changes.
Hence my desire for optimism. Spring is here but its cold out (for spring). There are no hockey playoffs happening and I haven't won a few million dollars recently either. So if anyone out there has something that they can share with me that can distract me (even if only for a little while) from all of my negativity, I'm all ears.
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