I would like to extend my prayers and sympathy to my American neighbours who have been affected by the devestation wrought by Huricane Katrina.
The loss of life from such an event is staggering.
It is at a time like this that we as human beings show our true spirits and the quality of our character; be it good or bad. Amid the destruction and death there are people looting for jewelry and tv's. This is a clear example of a person demonstrating to the world that they are truly selfish and self-centered and are amongst the worst examples of humanity. However the overwhelming response has been for people to come together, to help out their neighbours and strangers alike. These people are showing the world our best qualities.
The level of destruction and loss of human life is staggering and while we will attach dollar figures to it all it pales in comparison to the sense of humility that one is overwhelmed with and the sense of connectedness that springs to life in each of us. Amongst those affected are rich and poor, black and white, male and female. Where before there were divisions of class, race and gender there is now a brief glimpse of community, sharing and caring. For all have been affected and all are in need of help.
It is my sincere hope that through this devestation that these lessons will not be lost. These are lessons that would help to make our world a better place today and tomorrow. Be it those directly affected or those who can only watch the sense of humanity that we all share through such a tragedy would serve us well after the tragedy is just a memory.
It is unfortunate that as human beings we show the great character in coming together in times of need only to allow petty differences to divide us when times are good and everything seems to be going well.
A year ago, here where I live the city was flooded rather badly. There were millions of dollars worth of damage, people were homeless and those affected were as diverse as possible. The city came together and came through the destruction together. People came together to help out by volunteering, by giving food, by housing people, by giving money. However it is unfortunate that a year later that same sense of caring and community has been lost for there are still homeless people, still people who need food, there are still people who need our help.
As people our society will only be as great as our lowliest members. So while we build giant skyscrapers and are able to send people into space we have people dieing in our streets and people who are going hungry. Our apathy towards those in need is lost during a disaster but we need to lose it permanently.
There are people in need today. There will be people in need tomorrow. I hope that the qualities that we are showing today; compassion, caring, sharing, humility, empathy and courage will last beyond today to help those in need tomorrow.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Three things
I heard this on the radio earlier today and was hoping beyond hope that I had heard wrong. Obviously not. Here is a copy of the article from CBC.CA in its entirety along with the appropriate link. Please read.
http://www.cbc.ca/story/world/national/2005/08/23/robertson_chavez_2005_08_23.html
Robertson's call to assassinate Chavez causes storm in Washington, Venezuela
Last Updated Tue, 23 Aug 2005 15:05:50 EDT
CBC News
Pat Robertson's call for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has caused an angry reaction in Washington, D.C. and beyond. The conservative U.S. evangelist and founder of the Christian Coalition said Monday night that Chavez represents a "terrific danger" to the United States.
"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Robertson said.
"We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator," he continued. "It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."
Chavez is an outspoken critic of U.S. foreign policy, in particular of Washington's attitude towards Latin America.
He has accused the United States of conspiring to topple his government and possibly backing plots to assassinate him. U.S. officials have said his accusations are ridiculous.
The Bush administration also forcefully distanced itself from Robertson's comments on Tuesday.
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said: "Our department doesn't do that kind of thing. It's against the law. He's a private citizen. Private citizens say all kinds of things all the time."
State Department spokesman Sean McCormack called Robertson's remarks "inappropriate." He acknowledged that the U.S. has its differences with the Caracas government.
In Caracas, Vice President Jose Vicente Rangel called on America to do something about Robertson. "The ball is in the U.S. court, after this criminal statement by a citizen of that country," he said.
Former U.S. President Gerald Ford put political assassination off-limits in an executive order in the mid-1970s.
Now for my three things.
1. I am so sick and tired of this moron being the face of Christianity in North America. I don't believe that it is because he truly represents the majority of Christians but rather he has (one of) the loudest voice through his Christian Coalition and 700 Club television shows (others include Jerry Falwell and James Dobson). Also the media in North America for the most part is the laziest institution around (that is saying something given our governments) and pander more to entertainment than the actual reporting of facts and informing the public which is their responsibility. It is easy for them to put Roberston on the news constantly as a pundit, angel, devil because he puts himself out there. They don't have to do much work but rather simply run the sound clip he provides over his tv network.
These people and Robertson in particular, are far to politically motivated and involved. I was recently watching an episode of The Daily Show when they reported on Robertson's 'prayer' for an 'opening' in the U.S. Supreme Court two years ago. Of course the only way for their to be an opening is for one to retire or die. Nice. Now he is apparently taking credit for Sandra Day-O'Connor's decision to step down and is again 'praying' for another opening. Now he is openly calling for the assassination of a foreign leader. Tell me this guy is not a moron. But what sickens me most (on this point) is the fact that many in North America and around the world will put Robertson's words into the hearts of Christians simply because they have been told that he represents Christianity, when he does not.
Robertson is so far from Christianity in his recent remarks and actions that I wish to publicly disavow any association with this man. What happened to 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you' or 'the meek shall inherit the earth' or 'love your neighbor as yourself' or 'these three remain: faith, hope and love. The greatest of thes is love.' Christians are called to love others, not call for their assassination. We are called to respect others and our governments not pray for the death of a supposed 'activist' judiciary.
Robertson today showed that he is less a Christian leader and more a politician. A Wolf in Sheep's clothing if you will. So I urge any who read this don't give any credence to Robertson and please don't think ill of a whole religion simply because of the ravings of one lunatic.
2. Now for something a little more political. For a while now Chavez has been talking about America's actions in Latin America. They have been active their for decades going back to the earliest parts of the 20th century. They have installed and removed numerous dictators and are seemingly bent on having Latin America under its 'sphere of influence' (political ese for 'under our thumb'). It seems that Chavez is acting preemptively by calling attention to potential U.S. interference in his country as a means of perhaps heading off any such action.
It is no secret that Chavez and a few other Latin American leaders are trying to consolidate their position with each other so as to shore up strength to throw off the cloak of American influence. In fact one of the strongest supporters of Chavez and this movement is Fidel Castro that old friend of the U.S. It is no secret that the U.S. seeks the position of world leader, especially if one reads anything written by The Project For The New American Century. Its the dawn of the 20th century all over again. Instead of Teddy Roosevelt calling for American Empire we have Daniel Pearl and Paul Wolfowitz calling for 'sphere's of American influence'.
Now that one of the sphere's is calling a spade a spade and saying that they want for themselves exactly what Amerca fought and died for (see American Revolution and the desire for self determination) everything is wrong and political figures (yes Robertson is a political figure - he tried running for President in 1988) that be want them squashed like a bug. It is amazing what can change in 229 years. It was wrong for Britain to control oversees territories but 229 years later it is okay because its the U.S. that is doing it. Some call it pogressive foreign policy, I call it hypocrisy.
3. Now for a little more politics. I remember following the lead up to the 2004 U.S. presidential election and was amazed at the amount of 'faith based' issues on the ballots. Everything it seemed revolved around Christianity. It was a smart move on the part of the Republicans. One needs to motivate those 'faith-based' voters. So thay talked and talked about gay marriage and abortion. They talked about the 10 Commandments on courthouse steps and the need to get back to their Christian roots. The Christian Coalition, headed by Pat Robertson, was a huge backer of the Bush team and a huge disseminator of their oversimplified talking points. After a while the election seemed to be more about gay marriage than it did about foreign policy, domestic policy and economics (the three main pillars of politics).
But now look at how things have changed. When was the last time you heard about Bush's supposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage? What was the outcome of the court cases involving the 10 Commandments? Is abortion still legal in the U.S.? Once the election was over the administration that used 'faith-based' voters dropped their facade of moralism and went back to arrogance as usual. They had no intention of doing these things, they simply needed the votes and they knew that if they could distract enough people with issues that mattered little they could squeek out a win. And they did.
Now with Robertson's latest outburst (the consequence of his believing that he has more political influence than he does - it almost seems as if he thinks he is using the government rather than the reality of the government using him) the Bush administration, that friend to the faithful, has categorically denied any association with Robertson or his remarks. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
The Religious Right in the U.S. traded the perverbial cow for some magic beans. They believe(d) that it was the government that was to bring about moral change in America, not God. They believe(d) that they needed to have America conform to them rather than they to God. They believe(d) that they needed to bring about paradise on earth rather than God. Of course I am always a little confused on such matters. If one reads the Bible and takes it seriously (as I am to assume that the Religious Right does) then one would know that the world isn't going to get better but much, much worse. I believe the Bible talks about something called the Tribulation not the Restoration. And now we have Christian's across America saying that they are being persecuted while living in one of the most Christianized countries in the world. They need a reality check. Persecution was being thrown to the lions or being burned alive. Persecution occurs but it's happening in places such as China not America.
It's time that Christian's in North America place their faith in God once more rather than upon politics in which it has been misplaced for some time now.
http://www.cbc.ca/story/world/national/2005/08/23/robertson_chavez_2005_08_23.html
Robertson's call to assassinate Chavez causes storm in Washington, Venezuela
Last Updated Tue, 23 Aug 2005 15:05:50 EDT
CBC News
Pat Robertson's call for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has caused an angry reaction in Washington, D.C. and beyond. The conservative U.S. evangelist and founder of the Christian Coalition said Monday night that Chavez represents a "terrific danger" to the United States.
"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Robertson said.
"We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator," he continued. "It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."
Chavez is an outspoken critic of U.S. foreign policy, in particular of Washington's attitude towards Latin America.
He has accused the United States of conspiring to topple his government and possibly backing plots to assassinate him. U.S. officials have said his accusations are ridiculous.
The Bush administration also forcefully distanced itself from Robertson's comments on Tuesday.
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said: "Our department doesn't do that kind of thing. It's against the law. He's a private citizen. Private citizens say all kinds of things all the time."
State Department spokesman Sean McCormack called Robertson's remarks "inappropriate." He acknowledged that the U.S. has its differences with the Caracas government.
In Caracas, Vice President Jose Vicente Rangel called on America to do something about Robertson. "The ball is in the U.S. court, after this criminal statement by a citizen of that country," he said.
Former U.S. President Gerald Ford put political assassination off-limits in an executive order in the mid-1970s.
Now for my three things.
1. I am so sick and tired of this moron being the face of Christianity in North America. I don't believe that it is because he truly represents the majority of Christians but rather he has (one of) the loudest voice through his Christian Coalition and 700 Club television shows (others include Jerry Falwell and James Dobson). Also the media in North America for the most part is the laziest institution around (that is saying something given our governments) and pander more to entertainment than the actual reporting of facts and informing the public which is their responsibility. It is easy for them to put Roberston on the news constantly as a pundit, angel, devil because he puts himself out there. They don't have to do much work but rather simply run the sound clip he provides over his tv network.
These people and Robertson in particular, are far to politically motivated and involved. I was recently watching an episode of The Daily Show when they reported on Robertson's 'prayer' for an 'opening' in the U.S. Supreme Court two years ago. Of course the only way for their to be an opening is for one to retire or die. Nice. Now he is apparently taking credit for Sandra Day-O'Connor's decision to step down and is again 'praying' for another opening. Now he is openly calling for the assassination of a foreign leader. Tell me this guy is not a moron. But what sickens me most (on this point) is the fact that many in North America and around the world will put Robertson's words into the hearts of Christians simply because they have been told that he represents Christianity, when he does not.
Robertson is so far from Christianity in his recent remarks and actions that I wish to publicly disavow any association with this man. What happened to 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you' or 'the meek shall inherit the earth' or 'love your neighbor as yourself' or 'these three remain: faith, hope and love. The greatest of thes is love.' Christians are called to love others, not call for their assassination. We are called to respect others and our governments not pray for the death of a supposed 'activist' judiciary.
Robertson today showed that he is less a Christian leader and more a politician. A Wolf in Sheep's clothing if you will. So I urge any who read this don't give any credence to Robertson and please don't think ill of a whole religion simply because of the ravings of one lunatic.
2. Now for something a little more political. For a while now Chavez has been talking about America's actions in Latin America. They have been active their for decades going back to the earliest parts of the 20th century. They have installed and removed numerous dictators and are seemingly bent on having Latin America under its 'sphere of influence' (political ese for 'under our thumb'). It seems that Chavez is acting preemptively by calling attention to potential U.S. interference in his country as a means of perhaps heading off any such action.
It is no secret that Chavez and a few other Latin American leaders are trying to consolidate their position with each other so as to shore up strength to throw off the cloak of American influence. In fact one of the strongest supporters of Chavez and this movement is Fidel Castro that old friend of the U.S. It is no secret that the U.S. seeks the position of world leader, especially if one reads anything written by The Project For The New American Century. Its the dawn of the 20th century all over again. Instead of Teddy Roosevelt calling for American Empire we have Daniel Pearl and Paul Wolfowitz calling for 'sphere's of American influence'.
Now that one of the sphere's is calling a spade a spade and saying that they want for themselves exactly what Amerca fought and died for (see American Revolution and the desire for self determination) everything is wrong and political figures (yes Robertson is a political figure - he tried running for President in 1988) that be want them squashed like a bug. It is amazing what can change in 229 years. It was wrong for Britain to control oversees territories but 229 years later it is okay because its the U.S. that is doing it. Some call it pogressive foreign policy, I call it hypocrisy.
3. Now for a little more politics. I remember following the lead up to the 2004 U.S. presidential election and was amazed at the amount of 'faith based' issues on the ballots. Everything it seemed revolved around Christianity. It was a smart move on the part of the Republicans. One needs to motivate those 'faith-based' voters. So thay talked and talked about gay marriage and abortion. They talked about the 10 Commandments on courthouse steps and the need to get back to their Christian roots. The Christian Coalition, headed by Pat Robertson, was a huge backer of the Bush team and a huge disseminator of their oversimplified talking points. After a while the election seemed to be more about gay marriage than it did about foreign policy, domestic policy and economics (the three main pillars of politics).
But now look at how things have changed. When was the last time you heard about Bush's supposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage? What was the outcome of the court cases involving the 10 Commandments? Is abortion still legal in the U.S.? Once the election was over the administration that used 'faith-based' voters dropped their facade of moralism and went back to arrogance as usual. They had no intention of doing these things, they simply needed the votes and they knew that if they could distract enough people with issues that mattered little they could squeek out a win. And they did.
Now with Robertson's latest outburst (the consequence of his believing that he has more political influence than he does - it almost seems as if he thinks he is using the government rather than the reality of the government using him) the Bush administration, that friend to the faithful, has categorically denied any association with Robertson or his remarks. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
The Religious Right in the U.S. traded the perverbial cow for some magic beans. They believe(d) that it was the government that was to bring about moral change in America, not God. They believe(d) that they needed to have America conform to them rather than they to God. They believe(d) that they needed to bring about paradise on earth rather than God. Of course I am always a little confused on such matters. If one reads the Bible and takes it seriously (as I am to assume that the Religious Right does) then one would know that the world isn't going to get better but much, much worse. I believe the Bible talks about something called the Tribulation not the Restoration. And now we have Christian's across America saying that they are being persecuted while living in one of the most Christianized countries in the world. They need a reality check. Persecution was being thrown to the lions or being burned alive. Persecution occurs but it's happening in places such as China not America.
It's time that Christian's in North America place their faith in God once more rather than upon politics in which it has been misplaced for some time now.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Foregone Forgo
Tommy couldn't get the cascading red curls out of his head. The wafting scent of lavender seemed to overcome his scenses to the point where sight and sound were no more. The rich red curls ruled his mind's eye while the her full rich scent ruled his reality. The clock on the wall continued its ceaseless journey towards its infinite ending while the professor continued her ceaseless droning on infinite beginnings. The only thing to reach Tommy's mind was the stifled giggle from Veronica.
Once class was over Tommy's fellow student's began filing out of the lecture hall bringing Tommy back to reality once more. Sights and sounds flooded his mind, the shuffle of chairs, the murmer of numerous voices, the bouncing of rich red curls and the flash of her green eyes. He caught her smile and held it in his mind and then she was gone as she was every Tuesday at 2pm. Tommy gathered his books and bag and left the hall last of the few hundred students. Tuesday's at 12pm was the beginning of the most perfect two hours of Tommy's life. Tuesday's at 2pm was their end. Philosophy was now his worst class but the one he would never miss.
Mostly Tommy pined for Veronica in stubborn shy silence. In his more fanciful moments he compared his feelings for Veronica with those medieval tales of unrequited love. Romeo and Juliet had become a personal favorite; so much so that he had taken to carrying around his well thumbed edition all the time now. Tommy was still lost in his thoughts and fancies when he was joined by his roommate and friend Brian who everyone refered to as 'Nel' due to his amazing feets with a beer funnel in his freshman year. Tommy could see Nel's mouth moving before he could hear what he was saying. " ... mmy, man. Yo Tommy. You ready for practice, man?"
Most of the time, while on the pitch Tommy could lose himself for awhile in the rigors of practice. The only voice that mattered was that of his coaches and captain. Run hard. Don't drop the ball. Hit hard. Play smart. Communicate. He lost himself in the pure physicalness of it all; his mind running on instinct and skills hammered into him through repetition and hundreds of push-ups. Things were going well until he spotted the flash of red out of the corner of his eye and dropped the ball. "Dougan! What the hell were you thinking?! This is rugby son! If you want to stay on this pitch you WILL CATCH THE BALL!!! You understand me son?!" Coach Spencer was inches from him now, his face red, the vein on his forehead pulsing. "Yes, sir." Tommy offered. "Drop and give me twenty-five! Maybe then you'll catch the ball." Tommy moved to the side of the running lane and began his twenty-five push-ups. He couldn't help but notice Veronica in the stands giggling with her friend Paula. Her eyes watching him in the mud.
"You ask me, Coach Spencer needs to chill a little. Hit the bong once in a while, you know?" Tommy couldn't keep the suprise from his face when he turned to see Veronica sitting alone on one of the large rocks lining the pathway into the athletics center. "Ah, um, yeah. No. Ah, I guess so." Was all Tommy could muster at that particular moment. He was suprised he could speak at all. Veronica talked to him. Here she was, right in front of him. Her deep red curls, gleaming green eyes, pale milky skin, pink lips, rare freckles, her bright absorbing smile. "Soooooo?" Veronica asked. "Uh, so?" Was Tommy's witty rejoinder. "So are you ever going to get around to asking me out? I've been waiting for weeks now. I keep dropping hints in Philosophy class and so far nothing. I mean I know I'm not a supermodel but I'm not that bad am I?" Veronica had a playful look in her eyes. Tommy responded before he could think, "no. You're beautiful."
Leaving the practice pitch, Tommy noticed nothing. Not the mile long walk to his dorm room. Not the few hundred people he passed on the way. Not the rain that had begun to fall. Not the car that had had to swerve to miss hitting him. Tommy noticed nothing except the address and phone number written on the palm of his hand. It took Nel asking Tommy what the goofy look and stupid grin were all about three times before Tommy even registered that he was in his dorm room and that he was not alone. "Huh?" Nel gave Tommy a quick shot in the shoulder and continued his questioning. "I know Spencer can be a tight-ass but I didn't know that doing a few push-ups can turn you into a drooling idiot. What's up with the facial paralysis, man?" Tommy regain his sense of composure, his goofy smile faded only to be replaced by one of sheer ecstacy. "I've got a date with Veronica tomorrow night. Now where is a pen and paper?"
Over the next few months Tommy and Veronica became inseperable. Their first date had gone amazingly well as far as Tommy was concerned. For starters he was able to talk and walk and secondly he had lined up another date with Veronica for the following Saturday night. It wasn't until their sixth date that they actually began fooling around. It wasn't until their ninth date that they had sex for the first time. Time seemed to fly by. Christmas break came and went as did spring break. Soon after exams were wrapping up and Tommy and Veronica were figuring out how they were going to manage their visits during the summer. Tommy was due to return home to North Bay at the end of April. Veronica was due to return to Pembroke two days before. They spent their last night together at his place as Nel had gone home the day before. It was the first time that they finally said what they had both been feeling for some time now. "I love you."
Veronica couldn't believe her eyes two weeks later when Tommy stepped off the bus. He was here after all. Tommy had managed to find a job in Pembroke and a family willing to rent him a room for the summer. His job was hard work, the hours were long and the pay was lacking but each night Veronica met him at the various job sites with a warm kiss. It wasn't until two days before Tommy was to return home for a couple of weeks before school started that he was introduced to Veronica's parents. The dinner went well and it was made abundantly clear to Tommy that Veronica's dad owned a gun. A fact that Veronica laughed off. Veronica waved bye to the bus as it pulled out of the terminal and headed for the highway.
Every school year and summer passed that way for the next two years. Tommy and Veronica were inseperable during the school year. She was there at all his games, he was at all her recitals. Tommy managed to arrange summer employment with the same construction firm each summer and housing with the same family. Veronica would mope around the house for the two weeks begining and ending the summer that Tommy visited with his family. In between they would laugh and love. Growing and sharing. All the time making plans for the future that they were determined to share together. During the final two weeks of their third summer Veronica returned with Tommy to North Bay and met his family. They were happy.
"Do you think we'll make it when were finally out of here?" Veronica asked one spring night a few weeks before their final set of university exams. "Of course I do. I love you. We love each other. What more do we need? After that the rest is just details." Tommy leaned in and kissed her warmly, passionately, sincerely. On their final night at university Tommy met Veronica at her door. He was dressed in his newly purchased suit which he had bought for his job interview the week before. In his hands he held a bouquet of lillies and orchids, Veronica's favorite. Veronica took the flowers and greeted Tommy with a warm kiss then left him standing in the doorway as she put the flowers in water and grabbed her hand bag. Her slinky red dress really highlited her red hair. Tommy loved that dress. At dinner Tommy told Veronica that he had been offered the job. Veronica was excited for him. They finished dinner and headed for the boardwalk. There they walked in the cool evening breeze as the nearly full moon rose into the sky. They talked about many different things while they walked and held hands. Many of those around them couldn't help but notice the two of them and the loved that they shared. The boardwalk ended at the edge of a park which they followed a path into. There on the crest of a hill as the moonlight filtered through the branches and leaves of an old willow Tommy reached into his pocket and came to a stop. He pulled Veronica close and held her eyes for a moment then began to speak. "Veronica, I love you. Every day that I have spent with you has been more perfect than the last as each holds new promise of another day with you. I want to be with you forever. I want to grow old with you. I want to be the father of your children. I want to hold your hand as we laugh and cry, together." Tommy paused for a brief moment and held up the meager diamond ring which he had scrimped and saved for during the past eighteen months. "Veronica, will you make me happy? Will you be the mother of my children? Will you grow old with me? Will you continue to be my heartbeat until I die? Will you marry me?" Tommy looked into Veronica's eyes as tears streamed down her smooth pale cheeks. "Yes!"
Once class was over Tommy's fellow student's began filing out of the lecture hall bringing Tommy back to reality once more. Sights and sounds flooded his mind, the shuffle of chairs, the murmer of numerous voices, the bouncing of rich red curls and the flash of her green eyes. He caught her smile and held it in his mind and then she was gone as she was every Tuesday at 2pm. Tommy gathered his books and bag and left the hall last of the few hundred students. Tuesday's at 12pm was the beginning of the most perfect two hours of Tommy's life. Tuesday's at 2pm was their end. Philosophy was now his worst class but the one he would never miss.
Mostly Tommy pined for Veronica in stubborn shy silence. In his more fanciful moments he compared his feelings for Veronica with those medieval tales of unrequited love. Romeo and Juliet had become a personal favorite; so much so that he had taken to carrying around his well thumbed edition all the time now. Tommy was still lost in his thoughts and fancies when he was joined by his roommate and friend Brian who everyone refered to as 'Nel' due to his amazing feets with a beer funnel in his freshman year. Tommy could see Nel's mouth moving before he could hear what he was saying. " ... mmy, man. Yo Tommy. You ready for practice, man?"
Most of the time, while on the pitch Tommy could lose himself for awhile in the rigors of practice. The only voice that mattered was that of his coaches and captain. Run hard. Don't drop the ball. Hit hard. Play smart. Communicate. He lost himself in the pure physicalness of it all; his mind running on instinct and skills hammered into him through repetition and hundreds of push-ups. Things were going well until he spotted the flash of red out of the corner of his eye and dropped the ball. "Dougan! What the hell were you thinking?! This is rugby son! If you want to stay on this pitch you WILL CATCH THE BALL!!! You understand me son?!" Coach Spencer was inches from him now, his face red, the vein on his forehead pulsing. "Yes, sir." Tommy offered. "Drop and give me twenty-five! Maybe then you'll catch the ball." Tommy moved to the side of the running lane and began his twenty-five push-ups. He couldn't help but notice Veronica in the stands giggling with her friend Paula. Her eyes watching him in the mud.
"You ask me, Coach Spencer needs to chill a little. Hit the bong once in a while, you know?" Tommy couldn't keep the suprise from his face when he turned to see Veronica sitting alone on one of the large rocks lining the pathway into the athletics center. "Ah, um, yeah. No. Ah, I guess so." Was all Tommy could muster at that particular moment. He was suprised he could speak at all. Veronica talked to him. Here she was, right in front of him. Her deep red curls, gleaming green eyes, pale milky skin, pink lips, rare freckles, her bright absorbing smile. "Soooooo?" Veronica asked. "Uh, so?" Was Tommy's witty rejoinder. "So are you ever going to get around to asking me out? I've been waiting for weeks now. I keep dropping hints in Philosophy class and so far nothing. I mean I know I'm not a supermodel but I'm not that bad am I?" Veronica had a playful look in her eyes. Tommy responded before he could think, "no. You're beautiful."
Leaving the practice pitch, Tommy noticed nothing. Not the mile long walk to his dorm room. Not the few hundred people he passed on the way. Not the rain that had begun to fall. Not the car that had had to swerve to miss hitting him. Tommy noticed nothing except the address and phone number written on the palm of his hand. It took Nel asking Tommy what the goofy look and stupid grin were all about three times before Tommy even registered that he was in his dorm room and that he was not alone. "Huh?" Nel gave Tommy a quick shot in the shoulder and continued his questioning. "I know Spencer can be a tight-ass but I didn't know that doing a few push-ups can turn you into a drooling idiot. What's up with the facial paralysis, man?" Tommy regain his sense of composure, his goofy smile faded only to be replaced by one of sheer ecstacy. "I've got a date with Veronica tomorrow night. Now where is a pen and paper?"
Over the next few months Tommy and Veronica became inseperable. Their first date had gone amazingly well as far as Tommy was concerned. For starters he was able to talk and walk and secondly he had lined up another date with Veronica for the following Saturday night. It wasn't until their sixth date that they actually began fooling around. It wasn't until their ninth date that they had sex for the first time. Time seemed to fly by. Christmas break came and went as did spring break. Soon after exams were wrapping up and Tommy and Veronica were figuring out how they were going to manage their visits during the summer. Tommy was due to return home to North Bay at the end of April. Veronica was due to return to Pembroke two days before. They spent their last night together at his place as Nel had gone home the day before. It was the first time that they finally said what they had both been feeling for some time now. "I love you."
Veronica couldn't believe her eyes two weeks later when Tommy stepped off the bus. He was here after all. Tommy had managed to find a job in Pembroke and a family willing to rent him a room for the summer. His job was hard work, the hours were long and the pay was lacking but each night Veronica met him at the various job sites with a warm kiss. It wasn't until two days before Tommy was to return home for a couple of weeks before school started that he was introduced to Veronica's parents. The dinner went well and it was made abundantly clear to Tommy that Veronica's dad owned a gun. A fact that Veronica laughed off. Veronica waved bye to the bus as it pulled out of the terminal and headed for the highway.
Every school year and summer passed that way for the next two years. Tommy and Veronica were inseperable during the school year. She was there at all his games, he was at all her recitals. Tommy managed to arrange summer employment with the same construction firm each summer and housing with the same family. Veronica would mope around the house for the two weeks begining and ending the summer that Tommy visited with his family. In between they would laugh and love. Growing and sharing. All the time making plans for the future that they were determined to share together. During the final two weeks of their third summer Veronica returned with Tommy to North Bay and met his family. They were happy.
"Do you think we'll make it when were finally out of here?" Veronica asked one spring night a few weeks before their final set of university exams. "Of course I do. I love you. We love each other. What more do we need? After that the rest is just details." Tommy leaned in and kissed her warmly, passionately, sincerely. On their final night at university Tommy met Veronica at her door. He was dressed in his newly purchased suit which he had bought for his job interview the week before. In his hands he held a bouquet of lillies and orchids, Veronica's favorite. Veronica took the flowers and greeted Tommy with a warm kiss then left him standing in the doorway as she put the flowers in water and grabbed her hand bag. Her slinky red dress really highlited her red hair. Tommy loved that dress. At dinner Tommy told Veronica that he had been offered the job. Veronica was excited for him. They finished dinner and headed for the boardwalk. There they walked in the cool evening breeze as the nearly full moon rose into the sky. They talked about many different things while they walked and held hands. Many of those around them couldn't help but notice the two of them and the loved that they shared. The boardwalk ended at the edge of a park which they followed a path into. There on the crest of a hill as the moonlight filtered through the branches and leaves of an old willow Tommy reached into his pocket and came to a stop. He pulled Veronica close and held her eyes for a moment then began to speak. "Veronica, I love you. Every day that I have spent with you has been more perfect than the last as each holds new promise of another day with you. I want to be with you forever. I want to grow old with you. I want to be the father of your children. I want to hold your hand as we laugh and cry, together." Tommy paused for a brief moment and held up the meager diamond ring which he had scrimped and saved for during the past eighteen months. "Veronica, will you make me happy? Will you be the mother of my children? Will you grow old with me? Will you continue to be my heartbeat until I die? Will you marry me?" Tommy looked into Veronica's eyes as tears streamed down her smooth pale cheeks. "Yes!"
Monday, August 01, 2005
Dreams
Tommy woke to find the sky grey, the ground wet and the air inbetween filled with rain. He thanked the unseen forces once again, this time that his 'home' had withstood the weather. He gathered his meager belongings and waited a few minutes more to see if the rain would let up any, but it didn't and so he forced himself from beneath his cardboard roof and left the alley before the 'people' arrived for work. He had learned long ago to be sure that he was gone before the 'people' began to appear, for once they did they would hurl insults and ridicule, they would force him away with threats and in the end steal another small piece of his humanity; just enough to ensure that he was aware that they were 'people' and he wasn't one of them.
Onto the street, Tommy stepped, being sure not to touch those around him, or was it that they made sure not to touch him? He couldn't tell anymore. People buzzed by in their suits and coats, umbrella's held high so as to show the weather that they were too good to get wet. Tommy pulled his soaking wet hood a little further down over his eyes, bent his head to the ground and kept walking. After a few blocks he reached the shelter that would provide him with some warm porridge and a brief respite from the cold and damp outside.
Meals at the shelter were wierd affairs of silence and longing, furtive glances and paranoia, warmth and smiles. It was still early so there were only a dozen or so people scattered around the room eating their meals. Tommy silently stepped up to the counter and was greeted by an elderly woman with kind eyes and warm smile. Tommy received back the piece of humanity that he had lost on the street last night. "Good morning Tommy," the woman greeted him as she did each morning he showed up. She had a thing for names and would always make a person feel welcome when they arrived. "Good morning Mother Marylin. Thank you for the food." Tommy tried to return her smile but failed. Mother Marylin though was always more taken by the effort than the actual result.
Mother Marylin had started the meal program at the shelter several years before Tommy had even known such a place existed. He couldn't help but thinking over the past as he sat and slowly yet quickly ate his porridge. He had had a wife and kids. He had had a job and a life. He had been a person once. Now he was a collection of rags trying to absorbe the warmth rising from his morning meal. He thought of the first time he met Mother Marylin and where it was that she had found him. He remembered the cold of the night and subconsciously shivered. Mother Marylin had been roaming the streets with the Sister's of her convent, handing out food and blankets to the homeless, offering kindness and humanity to those who so desperately needed both.
"You can have another bowl if you would like Tommy," Mother Marylin's voice called from behind the counter. Tommy looked around and found only a few faces and his bowl empty. He thanked Mother Marylin and was rewarded once again with her aged and wise smile. After finishing off his second bowl of porridge Tommy gathered his things and once again headed out into the rain. It had slowed to a slow drizzle now but the space and pace left behind by the rain was taken up by the people buzzing to and fro on the sidewalk. Tommy made sure to time his exit from the shelter so as not to come in contact with anyone and once again bowed his head to the ground and walked slowly up the street.
Downtown was a good place to sleep because of all the restaurant garbage bins and subway grates. One could get a bit of much needed food and a bit of warmth for the night, but it was not the place to be during the day. During the day it was made clear that you were unwanted, that those around were uncaring and that by virtue of not being one of 'them' you were an unperson. It was for this reason that Tommy walked north across the river to the old part of town where many of the city's homless congregated under bridges, near barrels of fire. When Tommy arrived he was greeted by many stares and a few familiar faces. A couple of people even nodded and made room for him at their barrel.
It was cold for October and with the rain Tommy's cough was beginning to deepen. But the warmth of the fire felt good and warm. After a few minutes he unbundled his pack and produced the necessary pieces of wood that would ensure his space by the fire for the day. The conversation was sparse but poignant as people shared news of those mutual acquaintances. Tommy found out that David had finally given up and killed himself, that Bill had been arrested by the police for shoplifting a loaf of bread and some cheese, and that Ellie had finally died in the hospital two nights before. Tommy stood silently by the fire for many minutes after hearing the news.
Ellie had been the one bright point of life in Tommy's world for a few years now. They had met one night dumpster diving in the same alley and had made an almost instant connection. A connection born out of need, longing, anguish and mutual understanding. Ellie had been the only other woman Tommy had ever been with after his wife had died. She didn't judge him for losing his job or his kids. She didn't judge him for deciding to stay was from them either. No, she merely held him during the long cold night and allowed him to cry. It was then that he was able to do the same for her. They had been good friends, always trying to look out for one another when they could but knowing that survival is a lonely business. Tommy could feel the tears welling up in his eyes at the news of her death. Tommy wished that the heat of the fire could burn them away but they didn't and like he and Ellie they too fell.
Darkness came early now and so Tommy gathered his things and began the trek south to his alley and his home. He hoped that his home would still be there. The rain had let up in the early afternoon but had come back strong in the early evening. The wind picked up and chilled Tommy in his wet clothes. He slipped seemingly invisibly amongst the people on the street. He reached his alley only to find that his home had been crushed by a pile of garbage, so he set about clearing it off and once again trying to set it up so that he might at least be dry during the night. Once that was done he went in search of food and his last meal for the day. As night took over the city Tommy curled up in his box listening to the cars on the street and a rasping cough in his chest. A few days later Mother Marylin was called to the city morgue as she often was and asked if she recognized the body lying on the table. She did. It was Tommy Dougan she said as tears welled in her eyes and they too fell.
Onto the street, Tommy stepped, being sure not to touch those around him, or was it that they made sure not to touch him? He couldn't tell anymore. People buzzed by in their suits and coats, umbrella's held high so as to show the weather that they were too good to get wet. Tommy pulled his soaking wet hood a little further down over his eyes, bent his head to the ground and kept walking. After a few blocks he reached the shelter that would provide him with some warm porridge and a brief respite from the cold and damp outside.
Meals at the shelter were wierd affairs of silence and longing, furtive glances and paranoia, warmth and smiles. It was still early so there were only a dozen or so people scattered around the room eating their meals. Tommy silently stepped up to the counter and was greeted by an elderly woman with kind eyes and warm smile. Tommy received back the piece of humanity that he had lost on the street last night. "Good morning Tommy," the woman greeted him as she did each morning he showed up. She had a thing for names and would always make a person feel welcome when they arrived. "Good morning Mother Marylin. Thank you for the food." Tommy tried to return her smile but failed. Mother Marylin though was always more taken by the effort than the actual result.
Mother Marylin had started the meal program at the shelter several years before Tommy had even known such a place existed. He couldn't help but thinking over the past as he sat and slowly yet quickly ate his porridge. He had had a wife and kids. He had had a job and a life. He had been a person once. Now he was a collection of rags trying to absorbe the warmth rising from his morning meal. He thought of the first time he met Mother Marylin and where it was that she had found him. He remembered the cold of the night and subconsciously shivered. Mother Marylin had been roaming the streets with the Sister's of her convent, handing out food and blankets to the homeless, offering kindness and humanity to those who so desperately needed both.
"You can have another bowl if you would like Tommy," Mother Marylin's voice called from behind the counter. Tommy looked around and found only a few faces and his bowl empty. He thanked Mother Marylin and was rewarded once again with her aged and wise smile. After finishing off his second bowl of porridge Tommy gathered his things and once again headed out into the rain. It had slowed to a slow drizzle now but the space and pace left behind by the rain was taken up by the people buzzing to and fro on the sidewalk. Tommy made sure to time his exit from the shelter so as not to come in contact with anyone and once again bowed his head to the ground and walked slowly up the street.
Downtown was a good place to sleep because of all the restaurant garbage bins and subway grates. One could get a bit of much needed food and a bit of warmth for the night, but it was not the place to be during the day. During the day it was made clear that you were unwanted, that those around were uncaring and that by virtue of not being one of 'them' you were an unperson. It was for this reason that Tommy walked north across the river to the old part of town where many of the city's homless congregated under bridges, near barrels of fire. When Tommy arrived he was greeted by many stares and a few familiar faces. A couple of people even nodded and made room for him at their barrel.
It was cold for October and with the rain Tommy's cough was beginning to deepen. But the warmth of the fire felt good and warm. After a few minutes he unbundled his pack and produced the necessary pieces of wood that would ensure his space by the fire for the day. The conversation was sparse but poignant as people shared news of those mutual acquaintances. Tommy found out that David had finally given up and killed himself, that Bill had been arrested by the police for shoplifting a loaf of bread and some cheese, and that Ellie had finally died in the hospital two nights before. Tommy stood silently by the fire for many minutes after hearing the news.
Ellie had been the one bright point of life in Tommy's world for a few years now. They had met one night dumpster diving in the same alley and had made an almost instant connection. A connection born out of need, longing, anguish and mutual understanding. Ellie had been the only other woman Tommy had ever been with after his wife had died. She didn't judge him for losing his job or his kids. She didn't judge him for deciding to stay was from them either. No, she merely held him during the long cold night and allowed him to cry. It was then that he was able to do the same for her. They had been good friends, always trying to look out for one another when they could but knowing that survival is a lonely business. Tommy could feel the tears welling up in his eyes at the news of her death. Tommy wished that the heat of the fire could burn them away but they didn't and like he and Ellie they too fell.
Darkness came early now and so Tommy gathered his things and began the trek south to his alley and his home. He hoped that his home would still be there. The rain had let up in the early afternoon but had come back strong in the early evening. The wind picked up and chilled Tommy in his wet clothes. He slipped seemingly invisibly amongst the people on the street. He reached his alley only to find that his home had been crushed by a pile of garbage, so he set about clearing it off and once again trying to set it up so that he might at least be dry during the night. Once that was done he went in search of food and his last meal for the day. As night took over the city Tommy curled up in his box listening to the cars on the street and a rasping cough in his chest. A few days later Mother Marylin was called to the city morgue as she often was and asked if she recognized the body lying on the table. She did. It was Tommy Dougan she said as tears welled in her eyes and they too fell.
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