Optimism

I want feel optimistic about something. Anything will do I guess. Something to distract me from the near continuous negative thoughts that run through my head.

Have you ever listened to your inner dialogue? I've partially paid attention to it in the past but have been trying to focus on it more and more lately; trying to discern how I treat myself. It turns out I don't like me. I have learned that I am verbally (mentally) abusive towards myself which seems to feed the negative self image and self loathing. Its horribly cyclical. How does one stop it?

I was discussing politics with a coworker the other day and had something of an epiphany. We were discussing the compatibility of libertarianism and its compatibility with Christianity when I finally realized a key part of the golden rule. In the Bible Jesus is asked what it takes to get to heaven, he replies by asking what does the law say. Jesus then says that we are to love God with our all heart, mind and strength and to love our neighbours as ourselves. That these two commands sum up the entirety of the levitical law (and it is rather lengthy in case you've never had a reason to read Leviticus or Deuteronomy).

Besides coming from the Bible, we hear of the 'golden rule' from early childhood. We are to treat others the way that we want to be treated. But Jesus (and seeing as how I am a Christian I tend to give what He has to say some weight) says that we are to LOVE our neighbours. The Apostle Paul says at the end of his famous 'love' chapter in his letter to the Corinthians that "now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." Considering the esteem that faith is given throughout the Bible and especially in Hebrews 11 (the faith chapter) to say that love is the greatest thing is saying something. To say that we are to love our neighbours as ourselves is saying something more.

Whenever I have discussed this idea with other people invariably we look at two key points to the command: who are our neighbours and what is love. On neighbours we usually end up agreeing that in essence a neighbour is anyone in which we come in contact with. It doesn't have some spacial limitation to who lives beside us or in our neighbourhood. But rather it encompasses the notion that every human being is my neighbour. On love one doesn't have to look far to discern what the Bible has to say about love. As I mentioned above the Apostle Paul gives a rather detailed description of love in his letter to the Corinthians. In it Paul says that love is patient and kind, that it is not easily angered and doesn't keep track of our wrongdoings. He says that love is not rude or self-seeking, that it does not envy, boast nor is it proud. Love rejoices in the truth not in evil. Love always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. He also says that love never fails.

It seems rather elementary and clear. Love your neighbours. However what I never paid any attention to before the other day (hence my epiphany) was the other part of the command. We are to love our neighbours as we love OURSELF. It would seem that how we love ourselves or perhaps our ability to love ourselves has some bearing on how well we can love others. As such I have been trying to discern how well I love myself. Apparently not very well. When I look at the list of attibutes which love is to possess and compare that with how I treat myself it doesn't look very good. So I guess I need to make some changes.

Hence my desire for optimism. Spring is here but its cold out (for spring). There are no hockey playoffs happening and I haven't won a few million dollars recently either. So if anyone out there has something that they can share with me that can distract me (even if only for a little while) from all of my negativity, I'm all ears.