Surprised

I tend to get tied up in the notions of alpha versus beta male crap that flies around our society in general and athletics in particular. I would tend to say that I am most likely a typical beta male and with such a position comes a good amount of hatred towards those alpha males out there. Since beginning to play rugby I have met my share of alpha males; by and large they have tended to reinforce certain notions I have of them. Last year after after having played two seasons with one particular individual I felt the need to tell him the truth about what I thought of him. I'm sure the alcohol that I had consumed in copious amounts that night had something to do with it but I couldn't help my self and in the end was grateful that he didn't take a swing at me.

After a summer of thinking about what I had done and what I could remember saying I found myself sitting next to said individual for two hours on the bus trip back from a game. Again I felt compelled to be honest with him. I apologized for some of what I had said to him, especially the part about me calling him an asshole and for the fact that I had judged him which was wrong of me. He suprised me by saying that I had nothing to apolgize for and that he had appreciated my comments. I was shocked to say the least. Of course now I don't expect that we will be friends or anything, we are different people and don't make a point of socializing together. But in the end I think both conversations were more about me than him and I'm glad looking back on them that I stood up and said something. Of course he did suprise me which was nice too.