Monday, August 01, 2005

Dreams

Tommy woke to find the sky grey, the ground wet and the air inbetween filled with rain. He thanked the unseen forces once again, this time that his 'home' had withstood the weather. He gathered his meager belongings and waited a few minutes more to see if the rain would let up any, but it didn't and so he forced himself from beneath his cardboard roof and left the alley before the 'people' arrived for work. He had learned long ago to be sure that he was gone before the 'people' began to appear, for once they did they would hurl insults and ridicule, they would force him away with threats and in the end steal another small piece of his humanity; just enough to ensure that he was aware that they were 'people' and he wasn't one of them.

Onto the street, Tommy stepped, being sure not to touch those around him, or was it that they made sure not to touch him? He couldn't tell anymore. People buzzed by in their suits and coats, umbrella's held high so as to show the weather that they were too good to get wet. Tommy pulled his soaking wet hood a little further down over his eyes, bent his head to the ground and kept walking. After a few blocks he reached the shelter that would provide him with some warm porridge and a brief respite from the cold and damp outside.

Meals at the shelter were wierd affairs of silence and longing, furtive glances and paranoia, warmth and smiles. It was still early so there were only a dozen or so people scattered around the room eating their meals. Tommy silently stepped up to the counter and was greeted by an elderly woman with kind eyes and warm smile. Tommy received back the piece of humanity that he had lost on the street last night. "Good morning Tommy," the woman greeted him as she did each morning he showed up. She had a thing for names and would always make a person feel welcome when they arrived. "Good morning Mother Marylin. Thank you for the food." Tommy tried to return her smile but failed. Mother Marylin though was always more taken by the effort than the actual result.

Mother Marylin had started the meal program at the shelter several years before Tommy had even known such a place existed. He couldn't help but thinking over the past as he sat and slowly yet quickly ate his porridge. He had had a wife and kids. He had had a job and a life. He had been a person once. Now he was a collection of rags trying to absorbe the warmth rising from his morning meal. He thought of the first time he met Mother Marylin and where it was that she had found him. He remembered the cold of the night and subconsciously shivered. Mother Marylin had been roaming the streets with the Sister's of her convent, handing out food and blankets to the homeless, offering kindness and humanity to those who so desperately needed both.

"You can have another bowl if you would like Tommy," Mother Marylin's voice called from behind the counter. Tommy looked around and found only a few faces and his bowl empty. He thanked Mother Marylin and was rewarded once again with her aged and wise smile. After finishing off his second bowl of porridge Tommy gathered his things and once again headed out into the rain. It had slowed to a slow drizzle now but the space and pace left behind by the rain was taken up by the people buzzing to and fro on the sidewalk. Tommy made sure to time his exit from the shelter so as not to come in contact with anyone and once again bowed his head to the ground and walked slowly up the street.

Downtown was a good place to sleep because of all the restaurant garbage bins and subway grates. One could get a bit of much needed food and a bit of warmth for the night, but it was not the place to be during the day. During the day it was made clear that you were unwanted, that those around were uncaring and that by virtue of not being one of 'them' you were an unperson. It was for this reason that Tommy walked north across the river to the old part of town where many of the city's homless congregated under bridges, near barrels of fire. When Tommy arrived he was greeted by many stares and a few familiar faces. A couple of people even nodded and made room for him at their barrel.

It was cold for October and with the rain Tommy's cough was beginning to deepen. But the warmth of the fire felt good and warm. After a few minutes he unbundled his pack and produced the necessary pieces of wood that would ensure his space by the fire for the day. The conversation was sparse but poignant as people shared news of those mutual acquaintances. Tommy found out that David had finally given up and killed himself, that Bill had been arrested by the police for shoplifting a loaf of bread and some cheese, and that Ellie had finally died in the hospital two nights before. Tommy stood silently by the fire for many minutes after hearing the news.

Ellie had been the one bright point of life in Tommy's world for a few years now. They had met one night dumpster diving in the same alley and had made an almost instant connection. A connection born out of need, longing, anguish and mutual understanding. Ellie had been the only other woman Tommy had ever been with after his wife had died. She didn't judge him for losing his job or his kids. She didn't judge him for deciding to stay was from them either. No, she merely held him during the long cold night and allowed him to cry. It was then that he was able to do the same for her. They had been good friends, always trying to look out for one another when they could but knowing that survival is a lonely business. Tommy could feel the tears welling up in his eyes at the news of her death. Tommy wished that the heat of the fire could burn them away but they didn't and like he and Ellie they too fell.

Darkness came early now and so Tommy gathered his things and began the trek south to his alley and his home. He hoped that his home would still be there. The rain had let up in the early afternoon but had come back strong in the early evening. The wind picked up and chilled Tommy in his wet clothes. He slipped seemingly invisibly amongst the people on the street. He reached his alley only to find that his home had been crushed by a pile of garbage, so he set about clearing it off and once again trying to set it up so that he might at least be dry during the night. Once that was done he went in search of food and his last meal for the day. As night took over the city Tommy curled up in his box listening to the cars on the street and a rasping cough in his chest. A few days later Mother Marylin was called to the city morgue as she often was and asked if she recognized the body lying on the table. She did. It was Tommy Dougan she said as tears welled in her eyes and they too fell.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

And the moral of the story is ...

Tommy sat staring at the wall all the while contemplating the omnipresent and oppressive silence that filled the room. The lonliness that the silence spoke of was overpowering. Tommy took another drink of his beer as the day shifted to night and the muted yellow of the street lights outside his window took the place of the sun. 'Should I do it' Tommy muttered aloud to the silent voices in his head, 'should I really do it?'

Tommy woke the next day to find a message on his answering machine notifying him that his remaining shifts at work had been canceled due to mechanical failure. Great, he thought, the one solid excuse I had is now gone. A few weeks before Tommy had been surfing the internet and had come across one of the many dating sites. He had seen them before, browsed them before, but for some reason this time he created a 'profile' and had actually begun a conversation with a woman. It felt good to have someone interested in him again. It had been over a year since his wife had left and thoughts of being in a new relationship were just starting to break through frosty layers of anguish and despair.

They had talked a few times on the computer. They had even talked a few times over the phone. He thought that she had a sexy voice and tried to picture what the rest of her might be like. They had talked about meeting and so it was that now Tommy was faced with several days off and a perfect opportunity to meet the woman with the sexy voice. After hours of mental debate Tommy decided to throw caution to the wind and hopped in his car.

The drive would take a few hours but so long as he didn't focus too much on what he was actually doing Tommy felt positive that he could make it there. Of course there was the small problem that she did not know he was coming. Tommy tried her phone a few times but only got her answering machine. Undaunted, Tommy continued his trek. He was about an hour away from his destination when she called but his cell phone was dying so he was only able to say that he was on his way and would call her from a pay phone once he got there.

Now what do I do, thought Tommy. How do I control this? I don't even know what she looks like, where she lives, anything. What have I got myself into? Once he reached her hometown he found a local coffee shop and a payphone. He called her up and was told that he could pick her up a friend's place. He knew nothing to say but ok. He followed the directions she had given and a few minutes later pulled into the driveway of a stranger's house. Within seconds a woman came around the corner introducing herself as Julie, the woman he had come to meet. Tommy's first thought was 'the audio and the visual just don't match up'. But he tried not to let his thoughts betray him as he politely greeted her and opened his car door for her.

The drive to her place was somewhat akward but polite conversation flowed and within minutes they had arrived. He pulled into the driveway and was led down to the hole of an apartment that she lived in with her sister. Things were going from bad to worse in Tommy's mind. How the fuck did I get myself into this? he wondered. He listened politely as the two sisters fought over the welfare check that had just come in. He listened silently as they talked about the two guys that the sister had fucked that day, one on the very couch that Tommy was now sitting on. He was regailed with tales of sexual exploits with one loser after another by the sister who lounged on the opposite couch wearing nothing but a threadbare night shirt which allowed Tommy to see more of more than ample body then he would have wanted.

His mind was racing. He was panicked. What have I got myself into? What the fuck am I gonna do? Julie apparently sensing that nothing was wrong, either with her conduct, her sister's or with Tommy decided to excuse herself to shower her rather large body before bed leaving Tommy alone with the questionable sister. 'How am I gonna get out of this?' Tommy wondered.

"So did you have a nice drive?" the sister asked.

"It was okay, not much traffic so it was pretty easy going" Tommy answered. His mind was racing, he had to get out. "I'm just gonna step out to the car for a second. I brought your sister a gift and I wanted it to be a suprise so I didn't bring it in with me."

"Oh, okay" replied the sister who had barely taken her eyes off of the TV.

Tommy got up and moved to the door and was putting on his shoes when he noticed that he had already brought in his bag. Fuck! How am I gonna get that out of here without raising suspicions? He took a quick glance towards the bulbous body lounging on the couch to see if she was watching. Good she wasn't. He quietly lifted his bag and carried outside with him. He got to the car and opened the door, tossed in his bag and was about to start the car when he noticed that the apartment window was open. Shit! Now what? thought Tommy.

He quickly decided to put the car in nuetral and began to push the car out of the driveway. I've got to hurry he thought I can't be caught doing this. Once the car was out of the driveway and stopped he began pushing it down the road trying to get out of earshot of the window. It wasn't until he was nearly a block away that he decided it was safe enough to hop in the car and start the engine. He tore off down the road.

Elation washed over Tommy as he sped down the street but this was fleeting. How did he get back to the highway? How would he get home? He was lost. He had no clue where he was. Luck was with Tommy for at the next stop light was a convenience store and inside a cop who gave him directions that would speed Tommy home.

Tommy drove through the night, only stopping for gas and coffee. He couldn't rest till he reached the safety of his home. At nearly 4 in the morning Tommy locked his door behind him and was once again enveloped in oppresive silence and its subsequent lonliness. He had never been happier.

And the moral of the story?

Be sure to buy a car that is light enough to be pushed by yourself because you never know when you might need to run with it in nuetral down a strange street in a strange town in order to escape two less than appealing sisters.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Ahhh sweet, sweet poverty.

With all the hullabaloo surrounding this past weekend's Live 8 concerts and their aim at bringing awareness to the richest in the world (the G8 nations: Canada, U.S., Britain, France, Italy, Russia, Japan, Germany) concerning the plight of those who are the poorest in the world (Haiti, Chad, Moldova, Liberia, Guatemala, Madagascar, Bolivia, Angola, Mozambique, Burundi) I thought that I would toss my 2 cents into the collective hat of useless opinion.

First off I truly don't think that the Live 8 event will have much impact upon the G8 nations who are presently meeting in Scotland, nor do I believe that they will truly have a lasting impact upon the consciousness of us who live in rich countries.

Second, I'd like to discuss the issue of poverty in 2 ways. Firstly concerning "3rd world" poverty and what "1st world" nations can do to help and secondly I'd like to talk a little about poverty here in Canada.

There is a call amongst rich nations to committ to giving 0.7% of their GDP to foreign aid. Here are some numbers using the CIA World Fact Book.
http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/

Country - (2004) GDP - Foreign Aid(0.7% GDP)
Canada: $1.023 trillion - $7.161 billion
U.S.: $11.75 trillion - $82.25 billion
Britain: $1.782 trillion - $12.474 billion
France: $1.737 trillion - $12.159 billion
Italy: $1.609 trillion - $11.263 billion
Germany: $2.362 trillion - $16.534 billion
Japan: $3.745 trillion - $26.215 billion
Russia: $1.408 trillion - $9.856 billion
Total: $25.146 trillion - $177.912 billion

That is a lot of money! Just as a point of interest the estimated wealth of the world is $55.5 trillion! With over 200 seperate nations in the world its stagering to consider that only 8 countries control 45.3% of all the money in the world! In other words 13.4% of the world's population (G8 nations population approximately 861 008 786 - the world's approximate population 6 446 131 400) controls 45.3% of the world's wealth.

Now if we were to give that much money (and that is a big if) it would be imperative that that money made it to those in the most need. Here are some more numbers for you from another informative site (Nation Master: http://www.nationmaster.com/index.php). The following is a list of the G8 nations and the percentage of their foreign aid/development money that actually goes to the poorest nations.

Canada: 37%
U.S.: 30%
France: 30%
Britain: 41%
Germany: 31%
Italy: 41%
Japan: 20%
Russia: ?

So for actual change to occur in these poor countries the rich nations need to meet this call for 0.7% GDP aid and to increase the actual amount that goes to the countries that need it the most. The question I have then is would you be willing to pay more in taxes to ensure that these goals are met? If you are I encourage you to contact your representative politician and tell them so.

Now for something closer to home.

I was crunching some numbers the other day and wanted to share what I found out with others. In 1993 Canada set the minimum wage at $6.85/hr. If you worked a full time job (2000 hours a year) you would gross $13, 700. This I believe to be a fairly good estimate of the poverty line in Canada. Given that inflation averages about 3% a year the poverty line has increased as follows during the previous 12 years.

Year - Poverty Line - Minimum Wage - Difference
1993 - $13,700 - $13,700 - $0
1994 - $14,111 - $13,700 - ($411)
1995 - $14,534.33 - $13,700 - ($834.33)
1996 - $14970.36 - $13,700 - ($1270.36)
1997 - $15419.47 - $13,700 - ($1,719.47)
1998 - $15,882.05 - $13,700 - ($2,182.05)
1999 - $16358.51 - $13,700 - ($2,658.51)
2000 - $16,849.27 - $13,700 - ($3,149.27)
2001 - $17,354.75 - $13,700 - ($3,654.75)
2002 - $17,875.39 - $13,700 - ($4,175.39)
2003 - $18411.65 - $13,700 - ($4,711.65)
2004 - $18,964 - $14,200 - ($4,764)
2005 - $19,532.92 - $14,200 - ($5332.92)

So as one can see until the minimum wage was raised to $7.10/hr in 2004 if you worked a full-time job in Ontario and made minimum wage you dropped approximately $500 below the poverty line each year. So now we have a system where a person can work a full time job and it is legal to pay a person a wage which will place them in poverty. This is shamefull considering we are one of the richest countries in the world.

If we were to start back in 1993 and had tied the minimum wage to inflation, so that the minimum wage would increase each year in relation to the raise in the cost of living, the minimum wage would have increased as follows (assuming an average inflation of 3% as above).

Year - Minimum wage / hr. - Annual income
1993 - $6.85 - $13,700
1994 - $7.06 - $14,120
1995 - $7.27 - $14,540
1996 - $7.49 - $14,980
1997 - $7.71 - $15,420
1998 - $7.94 - $15,880
1999 - $8.18 - $16,360
2000 - $8.43 - $16,860
2001 - $8.68 - $17,360
2002 - $8.94 - $17,880
2003 - $9.21 - $18,420
2004 - $9.49 - $18,980
2005 - $9.78 - $19,560

As you can see the difference between the minimum wage in 2005 and the poverty line in 2005 would actually be $27.08. A positive! In my opinion given such numbers the idea that the present minimum wage system in Ontario is criminal. As we all know money has a direct impact upon a person's quality of life. The fact that we allow a system that permits people to live a life of poverty when they work a full time job is absurd. We are a rich country and we should be looking after our own citizens far better than we currently are.

However there seems to be something of a silver lining in all of this. While we seem unwilling to put our money where our mouth is concerning the poorest in the world, those whom we don't see day in and day out, we seem just as unwilling to support those people living in poverty right here at home. People who pay their taxes and contribute to the vast wealth that is Canada. So you can see that its not a case of we don't care about foreign poor, its a case where we simply don't care about the poor period.