Spring is in the air

Spring time has finally arrived. It seems to come a little later each year for some reason. Of course winter seems to start a little later each year too. Its like the seasons are sliding down the calendar. But that is for another post.

Spring is here and with it comes change. New Years is always a popular time for making resolutions and promises of change but I think that spring is the universal time of change. Life seemingly comes out of everywhere. The birds are back and singing. The squirells are running around again. The trees are budding and flowers are poking through their blankets of dirt. The weather warms, spirits rise and everything just seems fresh and new. Ready for change.

Change is of course hard and difficult for many. I'm not too sure that I handle change all that well myself. I tend to put up with a lot of crap before finally doing something about it. It seems that my entire life is a testament to silent resignation.

Things in my life aren't all that great. Of course things in most people's lives could always be better. Obviously the recognition of problems and finding solutions often requires effort and change. So the status quo remains for another day, month, year, decade ...

I've been thinking about making a number of changes lately. Some of them stem from school of all things. Obviously I'll be changing careers when I'm done school but that is something I anticipate with great joy. However with the change in career, I'm also thinking of changing homes. Specifically I'm thinking of moving to the UK for a year or two. Its a big decision and one that I haven't committed to one way or the other quite yet. I'm starting to feel some pressure to decide sooner rather than later as I figure that it impacts my living arrangements now.

I want to move. I don't like living where I am now. The person who lives above me is quite oblivious to the fact that I live downstairs and that much of what she does effects me. I hear almost everything, much to my great annoyance. Especially when she's having sex. But there are other things as well. She has friends over quite a bit, which I don't begrudge her but they do nothing but blast music and stomp around for hours on end. I couldn't tell you how many times they've come home from a night out at the bar and start blasting the music at 3am like there was no one else in the house. Last time it happened I called her on the phone and asked her to turn it down as I'd like to get to bed. It was 5am and they were annoyed that I would impact their fun. I know because I could hear everything that they said.

Many would advise that I talk with the landlord. I would if it wasn't a bit complicated. You see the woman that lives upstairs is the landlords ex-girlfriend who is friends with his parents. As far as I know she lives there for free. I know she doesn't have a job so I can't see her affording the rent. Add that to my beta-male nature of simply taking it and now I'm to the point where I just want out. Of course the financial terms of the place are quite good and I find them hard to give up.

But I digress. I want out and where I move to I think impacts my decision to move to the UK in a year. I figure that if I'm going to go then I can move in with a room mate and start getting rid of some stuff. But if I'm going to stay here then I may as well just stay by myself as I'll need to keep everything that I have. I've made the decision to move now I've just got to decide in which direction that move will take me.

Add to that that I'm making a concerted effort to develop positive habits surrounding my health. I haven't seen a doctor in probably a decade or more but I'm quite positive that I'm in crap shape. I figure getting winded in my elementary gym class is a pretty good sign that I need to put in some work. So I've started a running program. I'm only in week 2 of 13 but I guess you've got to start somewhere. If it works I'm supposed to be able to run 10k. If that is the case it could be a good start for playing rugby at the end of June.

Then there is the diet. A proper diet is so important. I just have horrible habits surrounding food. In the past I've made efforts to buy and consume healthier food but invariably the fruits and vegetables rot in the fridge while I chow down on potato chips. I remember when I started playing rugby. I practiced 5 days a week. After 8 weeks I lost 4 pounds. I figure all the french fries I ate during that 8 weeks might have had an impact on that.

On top of that I'm trying to reclaim and rekindle my relationship with God. I've let it slip for so long. I've always had a ton of excuses but none of them are really valid. Relationships take work, the same goes for my relationship with God. Of course I've been rather lazy and the relationship has suffered. Again I've ingrained some really poor habits that I now need to abolish and replace with positive habits. Its coming along but I still have a way to go.

They say change is very stressfull and I would have to agree. Then I sit back and recognize that I'm trying to make changes in 6 different areas of my life all at one time and I wonder that I'm not a basket case.

I guess all I can do is continue to struggle onwards and hope for the best. I don't really have a choice I figure. The other path was a path towards destruction. I want something more than that. Now I've just got to be man enough to take it.

Wish me luck.