Motivation, or a lack thereof

I recently passed the three year mark at my place of employment. I won't say that its been all good or all bad, but in my experience working here is negative far far more often than it is positive. So today I had a sit down meeting with my boss to discuss where I fit in on the new pay structure. I was looking forward to the meeting as a number of people I work with had received substantial raises ($3 - $4 per hour raises). So imagine my suprise when my boss tells me that while I am still below the average wage that he wants to establish, I will not be receiving a raise at this time. Apparently there is only so much money to go around and I don't warrant any of it. So I left frustrated and angry, wondering why doing everything that is asked of someone and more for three plus years is not enough. My frustration increased when I found out that a coworker who has done cocaine while at work, had sex with coworkers while at work, worked more than one shift drunk and did nothing to stop a client from being assaulted by a gang of individuals was given a raise. So now I sit here wondering why I should do anything at all. Apparently doing your job, showing up on time, working extra hours for no overtime pay matters little to my employer. Its the firable offences that get you ahead here. I can't wait till I'm a teacher and can get out of this hell hole.

*****

Rugby season is almost over. I took a long time in coming to a decision on whether or not I was going to play this year but when I did I committed to the team. I attend ever practice, every game and have taken up running so as to ensure my fitness for an 80 minute game. Of course it didn't take long to realize that I was wasting my time once again. After paying $240 and doing everything that my coaches ask of me, all it really takes to play is showing up to the game. So why do I bust my ass at practice two days a week?

*****

School is almost here. For me it starts on August 27th. I can't wait for this year to be over so that I can get on with my life and escape this pit that I find myself mired in. Too bad an education wasn't free, I could be so much happier if it was.

*****

Well I've spent four hours at work and accomplished nothing. I'm still trying to find the motivation to do anything, anything at all.

Plagarism, LeBron James and Darfur

When talking with people about economics I tend to come of as a socialist. This isn't because I agree with Marx so much, but rather I'm naive enough to think that money shouldn't be devoid of morals or ethics. Much of the time when people talk about ethical economics they will point to Wal-Mart and the damage it does not only in the communities in which they dominate but also to those who produce many of the items that Wal-Mart sells. But this isn't about Wal-Mart or corporate greed per se, but rather a lament that humanity runs a seemingly distant second to money in the hearts and minds of many. The latest example of this is LeBron James, superstar basketball star and, in my opinion, first class dick.

The following was originally published in the Saturday June 9, 2007 edition of the National Post.

James won't use his power for good
Star refuses to sign teammate's letter on Darfur killings

Bruce Arthur
National Post
Saturday, June 09, 2007

SAN ANTONIO, Tex. -Yesterday, Ira Newble sat off to the side of the basketball court where his more famous Cleveland Cavaliers teammates were swarmed by the media. The most famous Cavalier of all, LeBron James, was in the interview room, where only the glittering stars and their coaches go. Newble, a 32-year-old journeyman, was left largely alone. He has played nine minutes in these playoffs. Basketball-wise, he doesn't really matter. But this isn't about basketball.

Earlier this year, Newble saw the film Hotel Rwanda, about the genocide in that country in 1994, and was suitably horrified. He didn't just let the horror sink away, though, and so he learned that Rwanda was not an isolated incident. And so he learned about Darfur.

Here is the short version of Darfur. Since 2003, the Islamic Sudanese government and Arab militias are accused of mass murder -- genocide, essentially, though the United Nations has stopped short of using that word -- against the black African population, under the guise of fighting rebel groups.

Research published in the academic journal Science in December, 2006 put the death toll at "no fewer than 200,000." More than two million Sudanese have been displaced. Vast numbers of women have been raped. It is an unthinkable atrocity, and it is ongoing.

Most athletes live in a self-imposed bubble. Newble decided not to.

"I feel like I have a responsibility to do [something], to use my voice, ability, knowledge and talent for other things than just shoot a basketball," he says.

So he did something. He educated himself with the help of a professor at Smith College in Massachusetts, Eric Reeves, who is perhaps the most respected academic voice on the subject. He printed off some material about Darfur, and left it in each of his teammates' lockers. He asked them to read it, then later, talked to each one individually.

He then drafted a letter to China, which is the Sudan's chief trading partner, urging the country that will hold the 2008 Olympic Games to pressure Sudan to stop the carnage. And he asked his teammates to sign it.

They all did, all but two. One, backup guard Damon Jones, has a shoe deal with a Chinese company. The other is LeBron James.

NBA commissioner David Stern called LeBron "a representative of the future of this league." LeBron himself has said his goal is to become a "global icon." And Nike, LeBron's sponsor, and the NBA are seeking to exploit the massive Chinese market.

Jones doesn't matter. LeBron does. He said he didn't know enough to sign, but that was a month ago, and LeBron could have his people prepare a dossier tomorrow, if he pleased. And so Newble is caught between loyalty to a teammate, and loyalty to one hell of a worthy cause.

"I understand, but don't understand," says Newble, softly. "I can completely understand a guy, especially someone like LeBron -- whatever he does is going to be magnified. So of course, he has to make sure he's doing the right thing. I mean, I can understand that.

"But it's on him to go out and get the information that he feels he needs to get, and make a decision."

It should not be a complicated decision.

Newble is clearly hesitant to criticize LeBron, and says he respects LeBron's stated desire to know more. But Newble is probably on his last NBA legs anyway, and his conscience leaks through, even when he is trying to downplay the disagreement. When someone says this is not exactly an overly complex issue, Newble laughs.

"It's pretty much cut and dried. But at the end of the day, it's about the bottom dollar," he says. "Trust me, I wish I was a marquee player, because I could make a bigger difference than I'm making now.

"There's nothing negative about anything I'm doing. It's not a boycott, it's not like I'm saying don't go to the Olympics. It's a protest, to make people aware, to make China aware, since they have the ability to do something about it because they have so much influence over there."

When asked yesterday if he would be more of a Michael Jordan or more of a Muhammad Ali on social issues, LeBron demurred, and it told you everything you needed to know.

"I'm going to try to be more of LeBron James," he said. "When I say that, I just want to hopefully end my career the best way that I want to end it, and then just try to be more of a businessman."

Except right now, he is both. And through the lens of Darfur, as governments around the world idly let people die, those LeBron Nike ads that say "We Are All Witnesses," are ironic, and a little chilling. It's not that LeBron can stop the killing. But it's his decision to sign, or not. And he is making the wrong one.

"It's bigger than basketball, it's bigger than sports, and it's bigger than the money," says Newble. "It's a human issue."

It should be. What consequences would LeBron James suffer for signing that letter? How would it hurt him? But LeBron wants to be Michael Jordan, and Jordan was the epitome of the soulless chase for money instead of social responsibility. To paraphrase Jordan, the Chinese buy sneakers, too.

Inside the human studio

Well its been a while since my last post. Its not like a whole lot has been going on other than I've been doing research for a 30 page paper due in mid June. So far the research has been going slow but I don't really have much of a choice other than to waste a thousand dollars. Not likely to happen.

One thing that has been keeping me somewhat occupied has been the television show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton. One of the elements of the show that I like is the final question segment in which host Lipton asks each guest the same ten questions developed by French journalist Bernard Pivot.

In a sort of tribute that I have chosen to answer these same questions here.

Oh my how exciting eh?

What is your favorite word?
Without trying to sound overly sappy I would have to say 'love'. Its the one word that everyone wants to hear said to them in their life. Everyone wants to experience love, to receive love and to give love.

What is your least favorite word?
Repressed. I find it amazing how often in my life I've been told I'm repressed simply because I disagree with someone. I don't agree with having sex with ten different people over the course of two days? Well that's because I'm repressed. It seems to the be the blanket accusation for someone that isn't as liberal as they are.

What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
The first instinct is to mention something physical but that isn't in the question. I guess I would say walking or bike riding. I don't know if its so much of a 'turn on' but I do find that a lot of ideas come to me while I do these activities.

What turns you off?
This one is a lot more open but I guess the implication is that it follows from the previous question. I guess in that case I'd have to say work. I find it so mind numbing that thinking of even the most basic things can sometimes be a chore.

What is your favorite curse word?
Shit. I sometimes try to dress it up a bit by saying shite.

What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of the rain falling on leaves. Its quite relaxing.

What sound or noise do you hate?
The voices of a number of my coworkers.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I'll count my profession as a teacher for the sake of this question. I guess I'd have to go with Minister.

What profession would you not like to do?
Pig farmer.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Welcome, my child.